BAD HABITS

Question
WE GOT OUR GOLDEN FROM A FRIEND OF A FRIEND WHO NEEDED TO PLACE HIM BEFORE MOVING. SHE GOT HIM AT A SHELTER AND WAS TOLD THAT HE HAD BEEN ABUSED. HE SEEMED FINE FOR ABOUT 2 WEEKS AND THEN HE STARTED CHEWING ON HIMSELF CAUSING SERIOUS SORES. THEN AS FAST AS IT STARTED, HE STOPPED. THE PREVIOUS OWNER TOLD ME THAT HE SEEMS TO DO THIS WHEN IN STRESSFUL SITUATIONS. THINGS WERE GOING WELL FOR A COUPLE MONTHS, THEN WE WENT ON VACATION LEAVING SHERMAN WITH A HOUSESITTER FRIEND (IN OUR HOME) HE STARTED CHEWING AGAIN AND HAS NOW ADDED A NEW TWIST...DEFECATING AND URINATING IN MY DINING ROOM. WE HAVE BEEN HOME FOR ALMOST 2 WEEKS AND HE SEEMS TO BE GETTING WORSE NO MATTER WHAT WE DO....WE HAVE BEEN TAKING HIM FOR WALKS 4 TIMES A DAY, PLAYING WITH HIM, SHOWING HIM THE SPOT HE MADE AND THEN TAKING HIM OUT BUT TO NO AVAIL....AND ON TOP OF THAT HE HAS CHEWED UP HIS HIND QUARTER AND CROTCH AREA TO THE POINT OF BLEEDING....HE PULLS ALL THE FUR OUT AND THEN CHEWS. I HAVE BEEN KEEPING NEOSPORIN ON IT TO KEEP IT FROM ITCHING BUT NOTHING WORKS...HELP !!!!!!!  

Answer
There are many fine dogs needing homes, but sometimes previous mistreatment leaves them hard to live with.  I would definitely have a good vet check explaining the problems to the vet.  If there is no physical problem, I hope the vet is to too quick to medicate him.  

Start an obedience program even if he is well trained. The dogs see all the
people and dogs in the household as a pack with each having their own rank in
the pack and a top dog.  Life is much easier if the 2 legged pack members
outrank the 4 legged ones.  You can learn to play the role of top dog by
reading some books or going to a good obedience class. A good obedience class
or book is about you being top dog, not about rewarding standard commands with
a treat. Start at http://www.dogsbestfriend.com/  The time you spend with him along with praise for following the commands will help him more than anything.  Goldens are very needy.  Brush him with a soft bristle brush.  He will enjoy this, you will have less hair to clean up, and you should be able to skip bathing him usually unpleasant for both of you.  Do you have a large wooded area in the area you can go to occasionally for a good romp?  A pond or river for a swim in warmer weather is better yet.  You can also do agility training or fly ball.  Quality time may be his biggest need.