Please help! behavioral problem-aggression.

Question
Becky,

I hope you can help me.  back in october, i got my mom a kitten for her birthday, from my boyfriend at the time.  Being a single mom, with no one to keep her company during the week while i'm at school, this kitten has been a blessing, but at the same time a terror.  She bites and scratches alot.  More biting acutally.  She is never really affectionate.  She usually lets us pet her, and usually only likes to be held if she's very calm, tired, or has just woken up, but it never lasts long.  she turns into a terror in an instant.  She doesn't let us clip her nails, and brushing her.  my mom restrains her to get it done, because she's a long haired cat, we don't want matting or excess hairballs.  When we first got her, she used to sleep w/ my mom on the bed, now she rarely does, and my mom is upset by this.  and all this seems to have gotten worse when she went into heat for the first time last week. I think part of her problem may be due to her being taken away from her mother too early. I've heard you punish cats for these actions, and i've hear of ignoring bad actions, and praising good ones? i just dont' know what to do.  my mom wants so bad for her to be an affectionate cat, and to not have to struggle just to groom her.  any suggestions?  is it even possible for her to settle down, and maybe not become a super affectionate lap cat, but to at least become more affectionate that she is now?  please help!

Answer
Hi Allison,
Cats are like people, different ones have different personalities.She may never be a real affectionate cat.  First, you need to have her spayed. She will be calmer. Your mom needs to continue grooming her, or she will never be able to.  You should never hit a cat to discipline, it works better if you praise them lavishly when they are doing good.  Cats do not do well with negative discipline.  Having her spayed will help alot, but as I said she may not have the personality that is of a real affectionate cat.  I suggest that your mom holds her every day, maybe when grooming, give her lots of praise, and she will probably become more docile with age.  

God Bless,
Becky