Missing Cat Question~*~Spud~*~

Question
Hi Debbie,

I appreciate your response.  I was at a very low point the day I sent you my question.  I decided I would wind down slowly.  I was going to stop videotaping at night just to start the process of letting go.  My camera was plugged in and I decided just to turn the camera on to peak if anyone was eating at the buffet and I see a new cat.  Its not Spud but I haven't had a new cat for months.  I got 3 new cats at the buffet within days.  These are cats I've never seen before either.  This could be a possible good sign right?

 I just feel stuck.  I hit my lowest low and decided its time to let go and then this happens.  I want to interpret this event as the universe telling me to hang in a little longer.  So, I am.  It doesn't hurt to put the food out, its just the disappointment watching the tapes the next day becomes weighing.

Wow, you looked for your kitties a lot longer then I have been looking and from a great distance away.  I shouldn't be pouting considering how long and how hard you tried.  I can hang in there a little longer.  In my heart I feel he is still out there, but why I haven't seen him I just don't know.  I keep fearing the "reading"  I had from the communicator is true.  She told me he was dead, hit by a car.  To this day nothing seemed right from my reading.  The neighborhood description, the things my cat was supposedly saying, the fact I didn't find his body and the biggest one, she said he was still wearing his collar.  I found his collar two weeks later.  So far, the fact I haven't found him is in her favor.  I keep hoping she is wrong.  

It officially 7 months, is there a time where how long is too long for an indoor/outdoor cat to be gone?  Am I being ridiculous?   

Michelle

Answer
Hi Michelle,

((((((((((Hugs)))))))) I sure understand that 7 months feels like a very long time...  But you said it all... in your heart you FEEL like he is still out there, and it doesn't hurt to put fresh food and water out.  Go with your gut feelings!  I believe we are, in a small way, connected with our precious ones.  Who better then US to be able to "feel" them, or know when we have to let go.

I would take it as a good sign that new wandering cats have found your buffet!!  By now you probably have these new one's coloring, arrival and depature path noted down (maybe named them like I did to keep track of them all).

If you trap one of these, a good idea is to take them to a Vet to scan for microchip - if not found (or no new Lost Cat sign appears), this may be part of a wandering colony that has come to your doorstep for a reason.  I also like to look at things as signs, the universe saying ok but here is something else regarding this trama in our lives that is your destiny past this door.

I don't think cats think of "time" in the same way people do.  I saw one of my two lost ones after 4 months of nothing, zip, zero like vanished into thin-air!  No-one called from a flyer, but again I saw her after another 7 months.  Still hanging around and 2 of us saw her come to eat!  She was one of the wandering cats that just wasn't on an every night schedule at the feeding place we had going... And - if you were not awake and watching around 4:00 a.m. no-one still would have never seen her!  She was a VERY skittery cat though we had her since 8 weeks and she got lost at 9 (almost 10 years old), but skittery or shy cats take longer to show themselves and may never go up to "greet" a person - she just hides and now has a routine to stop in for food now and then at too many feeding stations too close together.  But, that is a very long story just to let you know it's very possible Spud is still out there.  

I saw cats that seem to "cycle" around their territories.  Some stopped by my feeding station every 3 days, once a week, some only once a month.  Since Spud was an outdoor / indoor cat, his territory may have grown larger after his time outside.  His schedule or route maybe 3 days, 1 month or tomorrow when he finds your feeding station.  

There is one communicator (and one psychic), out of several I checked with that I came to trust... Maybe this is too "new" of a field or so many are trying to give readings.  You know too many things this one said that just were not true such as the collar.  I wonder if you shouldn't try another one to see what they say - the same or something totally opposite?

Michelle, it is very hard to let go and to keep going - only you will know when it is time to stop.  Though it still wouldn't hurt to put food and water out for those wandering by, you never know who they may bring by someday.

There are two sites I'd like you to check out and see if either feels helpful to you ok?  One is to a wonderful pet communicator that was smack on every step and building she told me about - like she had drove the exact area I was driving and seeing!  It amazes me to remember feeling she was there with me AND talking to my lost ones asking if they wished for her to help them with any healing.  Barbara Meyers is one pet communicator that has my full blessings.  On eBay there is an Animal "forum" type board you can join - Under Animals look for the group with the Psychic on there (Wendy), she is another amazing woman with true insight.  If you join you can post Spud's photo and see what insight she may have.  Barbara is worth getting the reading and can help with any issues Spud may be having - she asks the cats if they will let her help them first always.  

I know you were feeling bad about how long Spud has been gone and understand how hard every single day that goes by takes a little more.  Look how many other wandering strays, semi-ferals or just neighbors cats you have been helping eat and get a fresh drink - there is always a tiny bright side.  

Forgive me for asking if I asked before, but have you been to the shelters & animal humane and renewed your lost pet file, and also now may be the time to hang fliers saying STILL LOOKING - perhaps just at the major crossroads in a 2 mile radius from your house.  Did any of your flyers back when result in calls?

Where did you find his collar?  Around that area was there also any fur, or how/why do you think he took his collar off at that spot?  How far from your house was his collar found?

My heart truly goes out to you Michelle as some cats aren't found (for lack of trying), and folks like us give it all but sometimes have to come to some spot where we know we must move onto helping other outside kitties in other ways, rescuing another one from a pound that needs our love as much as we need them, or using our love for animals in another way we didn't think of before.  

That took me a L O N G time :-)  In the end, my cats took me into a dream and said goodbye to me.  I never dream so having one shocked me ... then seeing my 2 lost kids telling me to get on with it, and goodbye... well it hurt, but I knew in my heart it was time to move on.  

This was when I decided my goal in life was to use everything I'd read, learned, or tried in the "field of life" that worked, to some way be able to try to help even just one more person find their cat.  

No-one should ever have to go through this alone - it is much too painful (in my humble opinion), to lose a loved one and never know what happened to them is worse than knowing.  I know most people think after a few days to just get ON WITH IT - get on with WHAT I don't know - my life didn't count only my lost cat!

But, you worked hard at trying to see Spud.  No shame in saying in a few weeks you may be ready to wind it down and put food and water out without the tape... I know it won't ever feel like you did enough Michelle, but keep trying until YOU are ready to move on - then you will be more focused on your new venture to help other ones out in someway - Maybe that is our fate?  I'm very proud of all you've done, getting the camera setup (I've not done that one yet), the feast and everything.

Unless people have done this for days and nights on end, they just don't know how much this takes.  My husband within a month or so was WAY past ready to let go, but all my little rescues are my babies for life so are us women softer, or hard enough to take doing the things that GET cats back home?  

After seeing so many cats reunited home, knowing I've done a tiny part in helping folks on here, and doing some of my own tiny group rescuing or TNR help - I would want my lost cats back in a NY minute and forget all this - But I took this as MY sign to help others like me that loved their pets so much they wanted to get humane traps, set out the right foods for their areas and animals and try, try try.

You may have to google to find Barbara Meyers (Pet Communicator) but I would give her my dearest stamp of approval if you choose to check into one more for input.

Would Spud readily go to other people or was he more shy, skittery cat?

My heart and soul are on your journey Michelle, and I really would love to hear about these new 3 wanderers, which direction they are using to come in and go out (same as the other cats you were seeing, new path entrance or just new exit or ???).  There may be much to be learned by this new gang!

(((((((((Michelle)))))))) Always in my thoughts and prayers, you and Spud.

Debbie