Incessant meowing-mourning the death of our other cat?

Question
I am having issues with my 4 yr old female cat, Minnie. We got her 2 years ago after the death of our beloved female feline of 8 years. We brought her home to our 9 yr old male cat. It only took a few weeks for them to be friends and surprisingly, he took the dominant position in the family. He was extremely laid back but it would only take a slight look for Minnie to back down from his rightful lap spot. He was a lover.
Earlier this summer, he was put down because of an invasive bone cancer. Minnie had started with a meowing habit about 2 weeks prior (we wonder if she knew he was ill). Since her meowing was so incessant, we decided that another cat would help. We tried 3 in the course of the summer take a couple week break between each one. The first attacked her with their claws. The second, I don't think they even got to meeting (but they did know there was a presence behind the door) as that one would attack my children for no reason at all.
The third, we had for almost 2 months. They stayed apart for the first 3 weeks. He was 4 yrs old. Very much of a chicken, would jump and run for cover at any noise but appeared dominant when it came to meeting Minnie. However, she wasn't going to back down either. They got to the point, were they could be in the same room together and even rubbed noses now and then. But Minnie seemed very on edge all the time. He settled in and was relaxed and would often back down from her. He was easily distracted and would come to me if called when I saw something starting.
The meowing had ceased each time we had another cat here. Since there became issues with the new cat not using the litter box, biting my feet and Minnie becoming relentless at putting him in his place we sadly had to give him up too. I have health issues that require low stress and the cat wailing and hissing from Minnie was becoming too much.
So, now that you know her history, the issue is her unceasing meowing. She loves sleeping with my daughters at night and she is walking all over them and meowing all night and is keeping them awake. (kids are 9 and 6) During the day she will meow now and then but will settle down quickly by sitting on me or finding a quiet place in her condo or one of the bedrooms. My youngest is always playing with her when she is not outside or doing school work so she stays entertained. Minnie does not care too much for toys, only a laser pointer is her favorite. I am not ready to have any more animals and believe it unfair to even try.She has been locked out of the girls' room, and she will stand by the door and meow all night unless she is let back in. What can we do about the her activities at night? Could she still be mourning? Would it be right to spray her with water when she is up at night with the girls?  

Answer
Hi Jessica,

That is quite the situation.  Honestly, it sounds to me like it is that she is mourning and/or lonely.  It would be very wrong to treat this as a behavioral issue by negative corrections such as spraying with water, yelling, sound aversion, etc.  That being, I honestly am not sure how to go about correcting this with anything other than time.  Cats feel much the same as we do.  Her reactions to the other cats tell me that that is not what she wanted, and she very much resented it.  She misses the other cat dearly and does not want a replacement.  She needs to mourn.  The best you can do is give her extra attention and keep her active during the day so that she's more tired at night.  If you don't already, feed her only at certain times of the day, and try to teach her to do a trick before you feed her.  I teach mine as they grow so that when I feed them, I have them do up, sit, and speak.  It's just another way to bond.  I know you say she doesn't like toys much, but make it a point to play with the laser pointer with her for about 20 minutes 2 or 3 times a day.

Furthermore, when and if you decide to try getting another cat, the important thing is that it has to be a good match for her personality, a yin to her yang so to speak.  People commonly just adopt what they want or a color they like and not a cat whose needs can be provided in their home and one that is a good match to their current cat(s).  If the male assumed the dominant role, then that tells me she's more submissive, more of a follower, and needs a cat to fill that role so she can feel in her element.  Now to that end, do NOT adopt a highly dominant cat, just one a little more dominant than not and one that has been socialized with cats other than his mother and/or siblings.  That will be a good place to start at some point in the future when you decide both you and Minnie are ready.

In the meantime, I wish you the best of luck, and please keep me updated!

Best regards,

Holly Martin
Cat Care/Behavior Specialist
Texas A&M University
Animal Science B.S.