strange behavior between female siblings

Question
QUESTION:  We adopted 2 female kittens nine weeks after they were born and they were weaned by the mother.  We took two because we were told they were inseparable and thought it would be traumatic for them to lose each other.  For the first 10 days everything was great then about a 4 days ago the more dominant of the sisters, Sophia, (who often acted like the mommy by teaching the other, CLeo, how to clean herself and many other things) has started suckling on CLeo's nipples and even licks her genitals.
She purrs continuosusly as she does this and is so feverish that it is almost impossible to pull them apart.
For a while Cleo is ok with it, but since Sophie won't stop, Cleo kicks her in the head with her hind legs, bites her  and still cannot pry her loose.  Sophie particularly likes to do this when she wakes up and she even does this when Cleo is completely asleep, this way she has no resistance.  It seems so wrong and it is very upsetting to see this.  I looks like Cleo is being violated. We have tried separating them and Sophia will cry for up to an hour for her sister.  We have shown our dipleasure with this activity by saying "no" sternly and directing Sophia to another task.  Now she takes her sister behind doors, in the closet and under the bed so she can "suckle " her without us knowing.  Since she is so insistent and does not want to stop it usually ends in a nasty, physical fight between the two with both of them crying.  They bite and kick each other when they used to get along fabulously.
I have searched the Internet for days and have not found anything even remotely similar to this situation,( besides cats who obsessively lick themselves ).  Apart from this behavior they are both the sweetest and most lovable little kittens one could ever ask for.  I cannot think of any stress or change in our lives that could have been the catalyst in this sort of behavior.  They were such good pals and did everything together and had so much fun.  I am at a complete loss. Please help me understand and let me know if you have any ideas on how to stop this without making them feel that it is wrong for them to be affectionate with each other.

Thank you so very much.  Very distraught, Claudia Trabuco

ANSWER: Claudia,

I am guessing that Sophia is a fairly timid and insecure kitten. I think that Sophia is a much more insecure personality type than Cleo and that she looks to Cleo for reassurance and support when she is fearful or anxious. I do think that both kittens should see the vet just to confirm their ages and health status. If all is physically well with both babies then you can focus on the emotional and psychological well-being of both little ones. I have a suggestion that may help to make Sophia feel less anxious and more comfortable in her new surroundings. You can try a homeopathic remedy called Bach's Rescue Remedy. Rescue Remedy is a blend of flower essences that works to help alleviate anxiety, fear and trauma. I would suggest that you try a dosage of about 8 drops of Rescue Remedy every morning in fresh water. If these issues are based in anxiety and insecurity you should start to see a difference fairly quickly. I wouldn't go about putting any products on Cleo's body to discourage Sophia from nursing on her sister. If you put something that tastes bad and is supposed to discourage Sophia from sucking you will likely also discourage Cleo from grooming herself properly. Hopefully Sophia will respond well to the Rescue Remedy and become more accustomed to her new surroundings. Right now her life has been turned upside down, she has lost humans she knew well, she is no longer with her mom, and she is living with humans that she is just getting to know. That would be a tough situation for anybody to go through, especially if you are insecure to begin with. The good thing is that Sophia isn't alone, she still has her braver sister to help her get through the tough times. I would be interested in hearing how Sophia comes along. I do hope that I was able to offer some helpful suggestions and insight. If you have any further questions or concerns, please do not hesitate to contact me again.

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: The funny thing is that I thought of Sophie as the stronger one.  The first day, Cleo hid and fell asleep under the furniture.  Sophie fell asleep in my arms.  About an hour later Cleo must have woken up cold and alone and she cried that special cry when they are in danger and I found her and held them both.  Sophie licked her sister's head and ears and put an arm on her as if to reassure her and they both slept in my arms.  Since  that day I thought of Sophie as the stronger one, that's why it has been so shocking to see Sophie wanting to nurse like a newborn and with such determination.  As personalities go, Sophie is loving and easy going and very watchful of her sister.  Cleo is a dare- devil, adventurous, playful and fearless.  Was it too much for Sophie?? from what you're saying it seems like she was putting up a strong front for her sister's sake, but that is not normally in her nature and it became too much for her.  Did I understand you correctly??  Everything else has gone so well I thought the transition had gone smoothly, that they felt loved and safe, but like you said, they did leave everyone they ever loved behind.  Poor things. That is why we were looking for one kitten and ended up with two.  Two little darlings and just that one behavior that was inexplicable to me. Thank you so much for your insight.  I will be more sensitive to Sophie's delicate nature
Thank you again for the advise. I will try the remedy and let you know how it works.
We have been separating them to stop the behavior, but Sophie cries the entire time.  From what your saying this is doing more harm than good.
Have you ever heard of this type of behavior?? Because yesterday she and CLeo faught so much after Sophie kept sucking on her belly that for the first time Cleo avoided her all day.  Then this morning all was good and they were back to playing, but Sophie started again with the sucking.

What do you think of Sophie doing this in hiding?? It's like she knows we don't aprove but she cannot help herself.  These little kittens are amazing me with their intelligence.   This evening I supervised their wrestling and licking and whenever Sophie would put her head near Cleo's belly I would gently move her so she could lick Cleo's ears or face.  While I did this I pet them both gently.  Do you think this is alright??


Gratefully Yours, Claudia Trabuco

Answer
Claudia,

It sounds to me like Sophia is outwardly confident, but she is internally quite a sensitive little being. Cleo will likely put a stop to Sophia's nursing, but it is perfectly reasonable to redirect Sophia when you see the nursing happen. As long as you are gentle and tolerant you will likely see the nursing disappear over time. It is also possible that Sophia wasn't quite weaned and due to her anxiety she is substituting Cleo for her mom, after all Cleo is the most familiar fixture in her life right now. You can try to distract Sophia with play, things like kitty fishing poles, kitten mittens, kitty teases, and even household things like the plastic ring from a juice container, a drawstring from an old pair of sweat pants work well, but you should be aware that household items like strings and shoelaces need to be a supervised toy only. Another tip I have for you is to inspect all of the kittens' toys regularly for wear and tear, it is a good idea to replace them if they are damaged, especially when you have a kitten who has a bit of an oral fixation. Separating the girls is likely to cause Sophia more anxiety then just allowing Cleo to stop the nursing on her own or gently redirecting her. My 9 year old tortie who was hand raised used to try to suck on anything within reach of her mouth. She tried other cats, sweaters, blankets, furniture, ear lobes, lips and she finally settled on her own tummy fur. Be prepared that you may change the behavior, but in some cases it never truly goes away, we just accept it as a quirk. I do think that these kittens are very fortunate to have such a sensitive and dedicated owner. It may take some time to get both kittens where you would like them behaviorally, but there will be plenty of time for midnight ambushes and the occasional ankle attack. I would recommend that both kittens see a vet just to be sure that everything is as it should be. Good luck! Enjoy your two precious babies and hopefully the Rescue Remedy takes the edge off of any anxiety that they might be feeling and allow them to settle in to what sounds like a fabulous home. If you have any further questions or concerns, please do not hesitate to contact me again.