My cat is acting really strange!

Question
I have two three-year-old house cats. They are both male. Although they were not from the same mother and father (one was a stray kitten, the other was from a shelter in another state), they have been raised together since about 8-10 weeks and love each other. They play, share litter boxes, cry when they have to ride separately in the car. They are both very affectionate and love the company of me and my boyfriend. They are also both indoor cats. We recently moved to a new apartment with a small patio in the back. We don't let the cats out because  they have been inside cats for so long and I worry they won't have "street smarts" especially since we live very close to a busy road. However, I believe another cat has been making visits to our glass door and it causes great anguish in the more skittish one (Oscar). He will hiss and spit at the window and puff himself up. This has been going on for about a week and I always chase the cat away and Oscar goes back to his normal, loving self. However, one night, while sitting by the door, Oscar became very distraught. I didn't see the cat on our patio but I have a feeling that it was there. Oscar has remained terrified, puffed up, hissing, spitting and very hand-shy (will not let me pet him). What is worse is that his long-time buddy (Grover) is very worried about him. He will sit and stare at him but he is careful not to get too close because Oscar will hiss and spit at him as well. I am not sure what to do or how to address this situation. Oscar and Grover have also had experience with other cats (my parents have three and they both love to stay at their house, which he does for about two weeks out of the year). It is such odd behavior I really don't know how to get Oscar to treat Grover normally again (or treat us the same too). I am a little worried that Oscar might hurt Grover if they get too close. I also do not know what to do about the cat that keeps on coming back. I would like it to stop because it is causing Oscar so much stress but I do not know how to do it! Thanks for your time! Any help would be much appreciated!!

Answer
Hi Heather,

I'm so sorry to hear this, and I can imagine how upsetting this is for you.  It sounds to me as though you are dealing with a case of what is known as  "redirected aggression."  This is very common between companion cats who normally get along, and quite simply means that one of your cats has been spooked or scared by something - undoubtedly this other cat looking in through the window - and has lashed out at your other cat in fright, because they are the nearest thing to them.  This then terrifies the other cat and their relationship becomes damaged even when they haven't actually fallen out!

There are two issues you need to address here - how to stop this other cat from frightening Oscar and how to make the peace between Oscar and Grover (great names, by the way!)

For Oscar, this is a horrible situation - he's just moved to a new house where he doesn't feel entirely at home yet, and now a stranger is staring at him and he can't do anything to chase him away from the other side of the glass! Unfortunately it's very difficult to stop this other cat from coming into your garden and even if you can find out who it belongs to, it would be unreasonable to expect them to keep the cat away, as it's impossible to regulate where your cat goes once it is outside.  If you see the cat in your garden, you could try gently shooing it away to see if it gets the message not to come visiting anymore.  Even though you are a cat lover, it would be best not to show this cat any attention or affection if you see it near your house as this will encourage it to return.  There may be a case to cover the door with a blind, or even consider a different type of door with less glass, if this continues to be a problem.  It is likely that Oscar will get used to this other cat in time and react less dramatically with some of the other tips I will suggest in a moment, but if he does continue to become upset, it's worth trying to block his view of the garden.

The key to solving the problem between Oscar and Grover is to calm them both down before there is a fight.  There is a product called Feliway that you can buy as a plug-in diffuser and which works wonders on calming down stressed cats.  It emits synthetic cat pheremones that mimic the scent that cats leave behind when they rub their faces on furniture to mark their territory.  One diffuser will be enough to cover your whole house and will instantly make them both calmer and should make Oscar feel safer in his territory and less concerned about this other cat.  Feliway is also available in a spray form and you could try spraying some around the door where the drama is happening!

When Oscar sees the other cat through the window, try to distract him with a toy or a treat before he gets upset.  If he starts getting upset, ignore him and don't try to reassure him.  Bizarrely, cats do not hear words of reassurance as meaning "don't worry, everything is okay" - they believe that you are reassuring them that there is definitely a danger and their behaviour is an appropriate response.  Don't approach him for a cuddle or stroke while he is puffed up and angry, as if he does lash out at you, this will damage your relationship with him as you will both end up upset and wary of the other, so leave him to calm down.  If he runs off to hide somewhere, let him go.  Cats often want to be alone to calm down and he will come back when he is ready.

If you are worried that Oscar and Grover are going to fight, supervise them as much as you can.  At the first sign of aggression, simply remove one cat from the room and try again later.  If they begin to fight, use a cushion or pillow to separate them rather than intervening with your hands as you don't want to get hurt.  I would add however that cats rarely have serious fights when they have both been good friends in the past, and although it is distressing for you to see Oscar's aggression, remember that he is only taking out his frustration on Grover and isn't actually angry with him.

If you can calm them down using Feliway, I think everything will be fine.  It is worth mentioning that cats reach their social maturity stage at around 4 years old, and some cats who have always been close in the past will grow further apart as they become older and more independent.  This isn't to say that they will fight or hurt each other, but you may find that they no longer sleep together or clean each other.  Remember that cats are fairly solitary creatures so if you can get two cats to live in the same house without fighting, you're doing well - having cats who clean each other and sleep together is a bonus as this is rarer as they get older.

Very best of luck with this.
Take care
Annie