how to gain a foals trust

Question
Hi,
I recently recieved a foal as gift. I love horses and I love my foal but I find it impossible to handle her. She is nine months old, and very very hyper. She's also very large for her age. she shares a field with two other foals slightly younger than herself. she is friends with theses foals but is also very domineering with them, biting and nipping at them. Her mother was also very high strung. She doesn't seem to like me at all. I've spent hours in the filed talking to her, feeding her trying to stroke her (sometimes successfully but most of the time not). She doesn't seem interested in me at all. The only communication I've been able to form with her, is if i sit on the grass and gently call her over, she then slowly comes over and will smell me all over and chew on my hair. Her body language seems to tell me just to piss off. I was wondering if you could advice me on how I could gain her trust and develop a good friendly relationship with her. I really want us to be friends, as I've wanted a horse all my life. Thanks for taking the time to read this.

Answer
Hi Christine!

Congratulations on your new foal!  There are lots of things that I can tell you, but I don't want to overwhelm you with information.  So, I'll give you a couple of basic tips and we can go from there.

At nine months old, your foal is probably around 350 lbs. and will be quite difficult to handle, especially if you're expecting her to just walk along and follow you quietly.  I'm assuming that she hasn't been handled much up to this point (that's what it was sounding like).  There is a hierarchy among horses, and your foal is thinking that she's in charge of you (that's what her aloof behavior and chewing on your hair indicates).  Unless you clearly establish yourself as leader of the herd, she can become ornery and downright dangerous.  Now, don't let that scare you - she's still young and the situation is very easy to correct.  But you have to not be afraid of showing her that you're boss.  

Let me explain a bit.  If you watch horses in the wild, especially the alpha mare (the boss mare), she quickly establishes that she's boss by pushing the younger horses away from her unless they approach her in a quiet and subservient manner.  This is how she helps to mold their behavior.  The way she pushes them away is by stamping her feet at them, baring her teeth, squealing, and kicking (if needed).  This is the language of the horse, and the young horses instinctively understand it.  

Horses are prey animals and being with the herd means safety for them from predators.  The first step is to separate her from the other horses in the field she's in, if possible.  As long as she's with them, she doesn't need you for companionship.  You won't be able to establish a relationship with her unless she's separated - the other horses she's with are her "herd" and offer her protection and companionship.  Once you separate her, she'll try to bond with you instinctively because she'll see you as a part of her herd.  DO NOT use food in your hand to lure her in!  This can cause a horse to literally try to walk over top of you to get to the food.  If she's been particularly good after a training session, give her a few carrots or cut apples in a bucket or pan - NOT out of your hand.  Safety first!

The next step in getting her to understand her place in the herd is that you're going to have to become the boss mare in order to get your foal's confidence and trust.  Now, this may seem counterintuitive, but you'll have to push her away to get her to connect with you.  You'll want to work with her in an enclosed area where you can play boss mare and guard your territory, and choose to let her come in and get pets and rubs if she's nice.  You can also chase her away if she's not.  Never, under any circumstances, go into any area with her "unarmed" (without a crop or lunge whip or something to use to drive her back) until you have completely established a trust relationship (minimum of 2 months).  As young as she is, if she decides to be a little pain in the butt and charge you, she can hurt you badly.  Just be cautious, and don't trust her as far as you can throw her until she earns it.

I know this is a lot of information.  But just remember that you're creating a relationship that will last for many, many years, and you want to start with a strong foundation.  Trust and love are built on good boundaries and safety.  If you get a chance to do so, pick up John Lyons' book on raising a foal.  He's great!  Many of the things I've told you about come from his theories.  I highly recommend reading what he has to say, since having a good understanding of your baby's behavior is a must for both of you.

Hope this helps!  Don't hesitate to write back if you have any questions.  Good luck, and don't give up!

--Susan