Trail riding a skiddish mare.....

Question
QUESTION: Hi Lyn,
I was hoping for some advice as to what I should do with my 12-year-old paint mare.....to make a long story short, I purchased her about five years ago as a true beginner with horses.  I've had formal riding lessons on and off in both English and Western on this horse and she has been good to me.  She knows I'm still a timid rider and at times tries to take advantage of that fact. I'm fine with her until I can tell she's about to spook or if she starts dancing around. Then I start to panic.....I would also say she is definately an "alpha mare."  Within the last year and a half we relocated to an area with woods, deer, coyotes, etc., and she seems to have become even more spooky than when I originally bought her.  My concern is can she ever become a good and safe trail horse for me? She has hardly been trail ridden and most of our riding has been in enclosed arenas.  Are there horses that just aren't suitable for the trail?  I am 42 years old, love being around my horse, I just wish I was more confident.  I've really had a hard time with it. Thanks for the help.
Robin

ANSWER: Robin,

While there are horses not suitable for trail, I've known a few, it's generally been more a case of herd bound problems rather than actual fear of the trail issues.  Do you have anyone else to ride with?  That and you have to get hold of yourself and not panic.  The horse will feed off your fear with the reasoning that if there's something for you to be afraid of then it's something they need to be afraid of.  Alpha mares especially need confident, bold riders and she knows that you are not.  If you can get someone to ride with you that may help with her as long as the other horse is not a spooky idiot too!  You want a good, solid dependable example horse for her.  You could try some homeopathic remedy to help you with your fears.  Bach's Rescue Remedy, available in health food stores, works wonders.  It's not a drug but a combination of flower extracts which help with fears, trepidations and timidiy amongst other things.  You put a few drops under your tongue and swish around in your mouth before swallowing.  You can give it to the horse by putting a dropperful on your fingers and massaging it into her gums.  Give it about 20 min. to kick in.  It may help you a lot.  I've used it on beginning riders who had real cases of nerves and a lot on animals.  Good for dogs afraid of thunder and lightening storms for one.  

Deer are not generally an issue with horses, coyotes and bears (we have both around here) are a whole 'nother story.  But, we've had to teach the horses not to simply lose their minds when we see one but to respond to us and follow our directions.  This has been a challenge with bears believe me!  

Best advice I can give you is to keep at it.  Miles tend to wear down a lot of fears for both you and the horse.  If you still can't get past this then you may need to consider getting a different horse, one more suited to what you want to do.  Or sending her out to a trainer for maybe a month who will get her out on the trails for at least an hour every day and work her through some of the issues for you.  But I think once you get your emotions under control she'll do better for you.  

Lyn

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: Thanks Lyn for the great advice.  I truly appreciate it.  I will try the Bach's homeopathic remedy you mentioned.  Maybe it'll help both of us!!  One last question.... if I do start attempting to get some trail miles on my mare, when she starts acting like she may spook ....is it safer to try and stay on the horse and ride it out or get off?  In my usual panic mode...I almost always get off when she's acting nervous.  I do tell myself that it's probably pretty stupid and dangerous....what if she bolts when I'm not completely off of her and I get caught in a stirrup or something!! Oh....I hate to think of what could happen!! My biggest fear is being on a bucking, runaway horse.  Any final words for me?  Thanks.
Robin
Robin

Answer
Robin,

After re-reading both your emails I am sorta thinking that you are going to have to work really hard to get yourself under control.  The mare is "feeding" off your emotions.  You are going to have to generate calm and control if she starts acting nervous.  I think it may benefit both of you to take some private lessons with a trainer who will help you "connect" with your horse.  I would have you do some basic dressage movements designed to help you and the  horse work together as a team.  It improves one's riding enormously.  I think the Rescue Remedy may help you a great deal.  

Remember this.  Horses are not smart.  Love them to death, will do anything for them, but remember that you are dealing with an animal that ranks on a scale with white mice.  I tell non-horsey people when teaching them to work with horses to regard the  horses as not real intelligent 2 yr. olds and they'll do fine.  They need structure, constancy and lots of support.  Some are bolder than others, certainly.  So if you are nervous/afraid then you will transmit this message to your horse.  They evolved as prey animals.  Their main survival factor was their speed and ability to escape.  That's instinctive.  Training primarily involves teaching a horse to not only respond to your cues but also to respect what you ask of them. If that thing in the trail that looks like a horse eating dragon is OK then it is and you can convince them to pass by it without performing airs above the ground.  They are also herd animals and will generally stay with the other horses who will also serve as examples provided they are well mannered.  A companion horse for moral support can be a big help in scary situations.

Don't go out expecting to have your horse spook.  That was part of your last question.  No horse, I repeat, no horse is 100% bomb-proof.  I've seen ones that were close, owned a couple, that I could trust with anyone but I always know that there could be that one thing that they will spook at.  Maybe with good reason.  I certainly don't want my horse standing there looking at a situation where I wanted to leave/move immediately.  See what I'm saying?  But if you go out with the idea that "she MAY spook" then I can absolutely guarantee you that she will.  I also don't know what your definition of a "spook" is.  If she just flinches at something do you consider that a spook?  Horses will do that.  You just steady them and put their mind back on business again.  Horses suffer ADD badly on trail if they like to sightsee.  For mine, if it's something stupid then I yell at them, smack 'em on the neck, just generally remind them not to be stupid!  Don't yank on the reins.  Use them to steady the horse and put her back where she is supposed to be but just that.  Lines of communication not punishment.  As a rider you need to use your legs, seat and hands when you ride.  

Me, I stay with the horse always.  Have seen absolute disasters when the rider got off.  As far as her bolting, don't think about it.  You have to ride her so that doesn't happen.  Your confidence is going to be a huge, key part of getting the 2 of you on trail and safe.  I think you'll find that your confidence will grow as you accumulate miles with your mare.  Dr. Mathew Mackay-Smith once told me that if you have a very "cheerful" was how Mathew put it, horse then take him out and ride him until he's quiet.  Do it again the next day, and the next.  Until he's quiet when you start. It does happen, trust me.  In some cases it has taken 1,000 mi. of competitions, probably 5x that in conditioning rides, but what awesome horses I've wound up with.  My horse and I are one unit; I think she does.  As natural as breathing.  The closest thing to being a centaur as you can get.  It's done wonders to cool down horses that are absolute idiots, so fractious that it's sheer torture to ride them.  A friend's Saddlebred was a nut job until she started doing endurance with him.  He's a totally different horse now.  

Get some Rescue Remedy, consider the lessons (if you can find someone in your area who will work with the both of you), and work on changing your attitude.  I think you'll notice a difference in your mare too.  Good luck to you both!  Keep in touch whenever you need some praise/support/encouragement and Happy Trails!!

Lyn