Fear of a pony

Question
Hi, i used to share a new forest pony with my neice , at first he was just a bit bossy , but then one day he lunged at me and really tried to bite, after that i was scared of him but kept at it with a trainer helping, i have never even raised my voice to him , only shown kindness, anyway my neice didnt want him anymore so i couldnt afford him alone, the trainer likes him so she took him to her yard and is now hers, she lets me go there whenever i like , but everytime i go near him he will let me touch his face and then try to bite, i hear his teeth snapping thats how bad it is, he will take food from me and listen while i talk to him but i dare not touch him, he even tried to get through the fence at me , he is fine with his new owner, she has a big irish cob who i have no fear of, she is gentle and i can cuddle her and i rode her and felt real trust, she has a shetland and i'm fine with her too, also i ride at a school and i have no fear of the horse i ride there, i love horses with all my heart and i feel that this pony senses something he doesnt like about me, although when i first had him, i could lead him and he was fine, he would walk up to me in the field and i wouldf put his headcollar on, now i wouldnt even poo pick the field while hes there, i will do that in the field with three other horses but not him, i am scared he will charge at me and bite, why does he do this and how can i get him to trust me and let me near him again , i am so sad about this , please help

Answer
Dear Carol,

I am sorry to hear this pony does not enjoy the kindness that you have inside of you and want to share with horses. Some ponies and horses however, need some 'tough love' rather than just cuddles and kind words. I don't mean punishing him or doing him any harm, but standing up for yourself. I am sure the pony does not dislike you. I have never seen a horse disliking anybody! Usually a response like this is caused by insecurity. Let me try to explain you what I mean.

In a herd of horses, whether in nature or in a field, there is a natural order. Every herd has a leading stallion (or gelding) and/ or an alpha-mare. Both of them work together to ensure the safety of the herd and they ensure that the herd finds enough resources like food and water to stay alive. These dominant animals are very confident and work hard, and are in my experience very willing to work together with people. They recognize the benefits very quickly. These horses show all their strength with their posture, and hardly ever have to kick or bite.

The rest of the herd has its own hierarchy (pecking order), which changes over time. This means, all horses have to defend their position within the group. Usually it are the lower ranked animals that are always trying to 'climb up' the social ladder. When they see another animal that might just be a bit less strong than them, they will do their best to overrule them. They will kick and bite to demonstrate their strength. Exactly this is what is happening with you an this pony. Your body language tells him: hey, this one might be weaker than me! And he will show you, by not letting him near you, that he can boss you around and you are lower in rank than him. Especially the charging at you, means 'keep out of my way, you have to listen to what I say'.

The good thing is, we can 'become' the leader, just by copying the body language of a dominant horse. Horses accept this very easily, and - like they would in a herd - it makes them feel safe. Finally! They don't have to worry anymore about where to go and how to avoid predators, this job is now of the 'human leading stallion'. You often see horses becoming more secure, and they start to shine, when we humans are taking over the leading position. They love being told what to do!

Well, a long story, but I still did not give you any clear advice...

First of all, have a look in the mirror. When you see yourself standing, is your posture straight? Chin up, chest forward, your weight equally divided over your 2 legs? Make sure you practice to stand like that, so you can recall it as soon as you approach your pony. Breath calmly and look straight ahead of you.

Now, when you do approach the pony, don't reach out for him to cuddle him. Go near to his stable or the fence of the field (don't go in), don't look at him, and sometimes even turn your back at him. Remember your arrogant body posture. Go and stand near to him so he could almost touch you with his nose, but not quite. If he starts head shaking or snapping, don't let hit intimidate you. Still ignore him, don't move and try not to respond by movement of your body. If he looses interest, say a kind word an just leave, you have done enough for the day. If he reaches out for you, let him sniff your hand, but don't stroke him. After a few seconds, turn away from him. Now you decide when you feel like interacting with him. When he does charge at you or bite, keep your body posture, breath in and expand your chest. Say 'no' in a deep loud voice. Don't let him intimidate you at all. You are the boss here.

I am sure that after a few days, he will let you touch him and stroke him. But whenever you do, make sure you still are confident. From here, you can build up your own trust towards him again, and maybe even (with supervision), groom him while he is tied up. Don't do this in the stable, but in an open area where you have enough space to escape, just to ensure your safety. Keep it short and don't 'pet him'. Just do the necessary grooming and then let him go again. When he moves away from you or put its ears back, say 'no' again, but keep your hand or brush against him on the same place. When he accepts you again, take your hand away and praise him shortly. Soon, you will be able to show him some love, as he will know you are more dominant than him anyway.

I hope I could help you a little bit. Let me know if it is not working, or if you are at the stage to start grooming him. Always ensure you are safe while practicing.

Good luck and I hope you will keep enjoying to work with horses in the future.

Kind regards

Katrina