Dying at home

Question
Thank you for your heartfelt response.  I appreciate your sharing your own personal experiences with me.

CoCo had surgery last April for what we thought was adrenal disease.  Ends up her adrenal gland was fine but she had a tumor on her liver & some enlarged lymph nodes.  The results from the biopsies were inconclusive.  Since the surgery CoCo has been growing weaker. Our vet was attributing her condition to her age but I thought otherwise.  This past Sunday CoCo nearly collapsed after a feeding.  I rushed her to the ER where they took x-rays.  Sadly we discovered a mass in her chest.  She hid the symptoms well...it was never apparent on physical exam.  On Tuesday we began chemo.  She's not doing well.  I understand the treatments will take a toll on her but I also fear the disease may be too far along.

CoCo has given such sweet joy to our lives I only want what's best for her.  My heart goes out to you on the loss of your first baby under such traumatic circumstances.

I didn't know what to expect with the mercy shot so am grateful for your taking me through that process and warning me of the heart stick.  

CoCo & I thank you again for your thoughts and prayers!  CoCo sends you and your kids some of her sweet CoCoKisses.

Mary
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Followup To

Question -
I have an 8-year-old ferret who is quite ill.  I do believe she is nearing the end of her life.  I would much rather her die at home in her familiar surroundings than be euthanized at a clinic.  Any advice you can give me would be greatly appreciated.  Regards, Mary

Answer -
Hi Mary:

I'm so sorry to hear about your little girl.  You don't say what is wrong with her.  Eight years old is probably about 'average' for a ferret lifetime, but they usually die of adrenal disease, insulinoma or some kind of cancer (quite common)rather than just old age at age 8.  There have been ferrets known to live to be up to 12 to 14 years old, but they do slow down, of course, as they age.

I understand your wanting her to pass away at home where she is comfortable and in familiar surroundings...and hopefully with you beside her.  No two deaths are exactly alike. It's quite possible she will pass quietly in her sleep, or in your arms (even better for her, but very difficult for you, of course).  There is also a possibility of a 'not so smooth and gentle' passing.  I just feel I should warn you that this IS a possibility. My first ferret died at home of a heart attack at 4 a.m. and the seizures and screaming was so very very traumatic for me, so I tend to take my kids in for a 'mercy shot' when I know in my heart their time is near.  That's just a personal choice I made because of my past very very upsetting experience. I sincerely hope that your little one will pass gentle into that restful peace and wait for you at the Bridge. Death is a natural part of living and if you are willing to go the distance with her, care for her till the end and keep her comfortable and well loved at home, what a wonderful gift that is to her. Just know that it might be a good idea to have your vet "on notice" that she is nearing the end and IF you should get into trouble, hopefully your vet would see you right away and help her cross the Rainbow Bridge. It's always good to have a "Plan B" just in case.  A good, experienced ferret vet will simply give them a little shot in the hip muscle (an overdose of anesthetic) while you hold them and she would just gently go to sleep in your arms.  IF you do decide to do it thru the vet, be sure your vet is not one of the 'old school' that does what they call the 'heart stick', giving the injection directly into the heat - it is not necessary if they inject enough of an overdose of anesthesia. That method *can* assure a peaceful passing if you do have fears about that; but do be SURE to talk to your vet beforehand and ask what method they use and let him/her know the heart stick is NOT acceptable (some old vets still do this and it's just not necessary).

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your little one. I truly hope she has a smooth transition.  For you, there are quite a few sites online where you can memorialize her.  One is here: http://www.petloss.com/   They have a Monday night candle lighting ceremony that honors all pets who have passed on the previous week. Go to the website and enter her name when it is appropriate  (after she has passed away).  There are other sites you can find that are quite supportive - do a search on 'Rainbow Bridge' and "New Rainbow Bridge" and you will find the Rainbow Bridge poem and some places for comfort and strength for yourself. Those of us who have been in your shoes really do understand and can be a lot of support during those last difficult days/hours.

Hope this helps. I wish I had a magic wand. I hope and pray your little girl will pass gently and you will be at peace knowing she will be waiting for you at the Rainbow Bridge.

jacquie  

Answer
Hi again Mary:

Thanks for the additional information on Coco. As usual, I think mommy had a better idea of what was going on than the vet did.  That's not too unusual for ferret parents who are really in touch with their furkids. Trust that inner 'gut feeling' and you can't go wrong because it knows the real Coco and was is and is not 'normal aging', etc.  

I can see where you would be in a very difficult situation as far as whether or not to even try to go thru the chemo. That's a hard one. Once again, tho, I'd say just follow your heart - you know Coco best and as much as you love her, you will instinctively do what is best.  

We ALL question ourselves after they pass on. We all wonder 'what if...?'   Just know that you have done everything you possibly could have done with the information you have had and that Coco knows she is very very loved. What a lucky little girl she is.

Please give her a gentle hug and kiss on the little nose from me.  My thoughts and prayers are with her and also with you at this most difficult time.

jacquie