New puppy; adult dogs; jealousy

Question
In the last few years we have had as many as 4 (rescued) dogs in our family, all males, all neutered and they all seemed to like and respect each other. Last year two of the older dogs passed away and we were left with "Boomer", a very active Beagle mix and "Lucky", a hyper little Min-Pin.

Circumstanced dictated that we rescue a 7-wk-old puppy last week.  He is a Black Lab mix, possibly with Great Dane.  In other words, he is going to be a Huge dog.  Neither Boomer nor Lucky wants anything to do with the puppy, Shadow.  I keep telling them that they'd better make friends before he grows up, but of course, they don't understand.

Shadow is a very laid-back puppy, very mellow for a pup and has never ever barked once in the week that we have had him.  But he wants a playmate. It is so sad to see him "shunned" and growled at.  It seems to me that the older dogs might be    jealous.  Today Boomer actually nipped at the pup and made him yelp.  I am very concerned at this behavior.  I try not to give Shadow extra attention just because he is the cutest little guy and so sweet, but it's hard to know how to do this when he also needs the attention that house-training entails.  Needless to say, we are not being too successful in that area, but I know it is not Shadow's fault.

To give you the full picture:  Boomer has been my 12-yr.-old daughter's dog since we got him 5 years ago.  He sleeps with her and they obviously adore each other.  Lucky was rescued from an abuser and was my sister's dog until about 4 years ago when her living situation changed and she could not keep him.  He is now mainly my dog and sleeps on my bed.  We recently "adopted" 3 feral kittens that showed up in our back yard.  We brought them inside; domesticated them and got them their baby shots.  Boomer and Lucky are not pleased with the kittens either, but they are not aggressive toward them at all, even though one of the kittens also shares my daughter's bed. And the kittens have each other to play with.

I expect that part of the problem is that my daughter plays with the puppy a lot and also sneaks him into her bed, even though I've warned her that she is the one that is going to end up sleeping on the floor when he grows up.  (Her answer is to get her a bigger bed.)  She is also letting Shadow be a lap dog, and I know that is going to be a problem sooner or later.

How do I integrate these dogs?  How do I train Shadow without creating more friction between the dogs?  How do I convince my daughter to help me?  She will be heartbroken if we cannot keep the puppy, and yet I know that this will be an impossible situation if something doesn't change for the better.

Answer
Dear Rosalie,

It's so nice to hear from a really responsible dog owner -- and a rescuer at that!  I want you to know that what you do is appreciated by me personally!

It's very common -- really almost expected -- for adult dogs in the household to nip at a new pup when he wants to play with them.  It's not usually a jealosy thing, but rather adults who have no society forcing them to embrace junior shenanigans (like we humans have!).  I don't know how old Boomer and Lucky are but they're at least 5 and 4 from what you've told me and I wouldn't expect them to play with the new kid much at all, and if they're much older even more so.  It's more about what they're going to tolerate than jealosy although you do walk a bit of a fine line when greeting them all.  You have to follow their lead on this, keeping in mind that trying to treat them all equally could make matters worse.  I expect Shadow to "take over" the house at approx 18 months of age when he realizes how big and strong he is, particularly if Boomer and Shadow are still resentful and trying to remain dominant over him.  

What you can do to prevent or at least minimize the potential problems is to give the adults attention ONLY when Shadow is in the room, and ignore them when Shadow is not present.  This will teach them to actually look forward to his presence.  You can also discipline (with your voice and possibly a water squirt bottle) when you feel that the adults are being unreasonably mean, but that does not include nipping as a result of Shadow's overzealous attempts to get them to puppy play with him.  They are simply teaching him that they won't do it, and most pups are pretty hardheaded about this lesson until it's been taught a couple of times.  Just this morning I had a dog owner tell me that her 4 month old pup is finally "getting it" with regard to her older rescue's disdain for his nutty behavior.  The older dog is now allowing the pup to lick his head -- but still is growly and nippy when the pup licks his mouth.  The pup is starting to understand.  This is how they communicate.

If you don't already, I'd institute a policy of no animal-based chews lying around the house for them to argue over.  Some dog groups can't handle ANY toys but I'll leave that to your judgment.

Go ahead and keep doing what you have to do to train Shadow, and do it outside or in another room when it involves treats.

As far as your daughter is concerned, I'd just lay down a law that Shadow is absolutely not allowed on her bed.  It really would help if Boomer gets kicked out of her bedroom as well, but that should probably wait for another month or two so that the association with Shadow doesn't occur to him.  Just show her this letter and tell her that what she's doing may easily cause a fight in the future between the dogs, one that causes injury to either or both of them, and if theyr'e fighting that could very well mean that you'll have to get rid of one of them.

It is heartbreaking to see a pup want to play and no one to play with!  Bring him to a puppy socialization hour in your area if you can find one, check out http://www.apdt.com for a good training class in your area which provides socialization with pups during or after the class, and best yet find a reputable cage-free daycare in your area where you can bring him a couple times a week to play.

Good luck and thanks for writing!
Suzanne Harris, BSc, CPDT
http://www.dogdaysUSA.com