bad behavior in lab

Question
Hi, I have a chocolate lab, she is nine months old... I am about to give up on this dog.  First of all I have a 6yr old daughter  and a 3yr old son and a baby on the way.  I am worried because she is constantly knocking my three year old down, she jumps on him and pushes him over, scratches him and "nips" at him.  A couple of times she has bit him, but not enough to break the skin, I am assuming she was trying to play, but was completely unprovoked in both situations.  She is continually stealing food from my son (who is three), jumps on the counters and the stove to try and get anything and will search the house constantly for hidden tidbits... all this while she has a full bowl of her own food...I have tried everything I can think of to stop this, scolding her, making her lay down and stay down, putting her in her crate... it is a constant issue, and happens all the time. I am just getting really frustrated and am sick of having her hurt my son.... I am really afraid that one of these times she is really going to do some damage...I don't know what to do with her other then keep her in her crate when my son is around...and I cringe when I think of what could happen to the new baby.... HELP! I am seriously ready to find her a new home....

Answer
Having a good pack structure reduces such problems.  The dogs see all the
people and dogs in the household as a pack with each having their own rank in
the pack and a top dog.  Life is much easier if the 2 legged pack members
outrank the 4 legged ones.  You can learn to play the role of top dog by
reading some books or going to a good obedience class. A good obedience class
or book is about you being top dog, not about rewarding standard commands with
a treat. Start at http://www.dogsbestfriend.com/  You must start obedience training even if she has been through one of the useless, treat centered classes. She must learn to sit, not because she gets a treat, but because you say so.  

Spay her if not already.  Act quickly, she could come into season anytime, and it is much more difficult at that time.  With her behavior problems, she will never be a good candidate for breeding.  You do not need the hassle of her being in season, and little kids to let her escape from the house.  In season, she will run right over the 6 year old to get out of the house.   


The stronger willed Labs require strong willed owners to insist on good behavior.  Use the same methods as other problems.  I like to use as gentle
corrections as I can and only where I can't get by with praise.  I start with
a stern "Bad dog!" or a light jerk on the leash.  In stubborn cases, I repeat
the "Bad dog!" right in its face with the dog on its back.  If you are able,
when it misbehaves, throw it on its back, and growl "Bad dog!" right in its
face.  Hold it down until it lifts one back leg to show submission.  If you
can't do that, try the squirt bottle.  Fill it with water and a little vinegar
or lemon juice.  Give it a squirt in the face as soon as it misbehaves.  Dogs
hate that.

You may want to try tie downs, a short length of chain anchored securely and a snap on the end.  Thus secured, I mean the dog, the 3 year old could interact with her, but retreat if she is too rough.  That in itself could be excellent discipline.  Being left out of the rest of the pack is the worst thing possible to a dog.  If every time the 3 years old approaches her, he is greeted by her bouncing at the end of the chain, and goes away, she may decide it isn't working.  If she gets the interaction she wants when she obeys your ''Down and Stay'' as the child approaches, it will help teach her how to play with the children.  

Likely both the children and the dog will be healthier, if you adopt a schedule for them of food only being available at meal time at their place.  Most Labs will not leave food in their dish unless being over fed.  This is a common problem with Labs.  Your dog definitely should be narrower at the waist than the hips and chest.  You should be able to easily feel the ribs, but not see them.  Each dog is  different.  Standard recommendations are a good place to start, but each dog must have its food adjusted to its individual needs. See
http://www.purina.com/dogs/nutrition.asp?article=292  

Cutting her back to what is good for her, will only increase stealing from the children.  Part of the solution is for the children to do most of their eating at meal times, at the table, with very little between meals.  Check with both your vet and pediatrician, and I think they will agree with me.  Nobody said being a mother and a dog owner would be easy.  Both call for generous amounts of tough love, more so with some children and dogs.  

When my kids were small, we had a pet dog.  I was much lower on the learning curve then.  Still, he wasn't a Lab, and never gave the problems you are reporting.  I know a number of families raising Labs for the dog guide school that have small children.  Imagine sending her away to school in the spring and starting over with a new puppy, and again next year....  By using lots of discipline they have coped.  Some of the ones I knew as little children, are away at college now.