preparing one dog for others death

Question
Hi Patti,
 We have 2 dogs Pepper 14( mostly blind, deaf, heart disease, advanced arthritis), and Dudley 7-( once very active and happy,last year went blind from SARDS). Pepper is failing fast, and Dudley within the last year has become very dependent on her.He used to be the dominant dog, now He doesn't like to go outside without her, always waits for her to eat, etc.
 How can I start preparing him to be without her? He's already so pitiful just because of the blindness.
 Also- how do I know when it's time to consider whether your dog is not having a happy quality life?

Answer
Hi Coby,

Continue to spend time with Pepper. Let her know how much you love her, and cherish every moment. Make sure she is comfortable. Talk to her, do things that she has always enjoyed- if she's still able, like letting her curl up on your lap for hours at a time, giving her plenty of time to roam in the yard, or eating yummy little treats. If there was ever a time to spoil Pepper, this is it.

A unique responsibility we have when we own pets is deciding whether or not to end their lives peacefully if they are suffering. This can be one of life's most difficult decisions, often coupled with guilt and grief. So how do you know if it is time?  There are several criteria used in evaluating life quality and you should consider them carefully:

Is your pet eating? Basically, quality life involves eating or at least interest in food.  An animal that is hungry has a vitality that must be considered, though this is not the only consideration.

Is your pet comfortable?  The pet should be free of debilitating pains, cramps, aches or even the psychological pain that comes from the development of incontinence in an animal that has been housebroken its entire life.

Does the pet still enjoy its favorite activities? The elderly pet does not necessarily need to continue chasing balls or jumping after frisbees but he should enjoy sleeping comfortably, favorite resting spots, the company of the owner etc.  You know your pet better than any one and only you can truly answer these questions.

It is a time to trust your instincts. You will probably know exactly when the time has come.

I don't know if it's possible to prepare a dog for another dog's passing. Dogs don't project their feelings into the future, the way people do. You can however, help Dudley cope with his feelings of loss and grief after Pepper has passed.

Helping Dudley adjust to this loss will help you at the same time.  

Take Dudley on more outings, if he enjoys outings. Maybe it's just a walk to the mailbox. It could be a ride along in the car to a drive-through window at the bank or fast food place. Maybe it's a stroll in a pleasant park, or down the block to chat with neighbors. Outings deepen the dog's bond to you, and make the dog's life more interesting.

If, because of Dudley's blindness, he is unsure of walking, try using a "hoop harness" (a specially designed harness for blind dogs). This website shows you how to make one:
http://www.handicappedpets.com/acc/harness/index.htm

Or, Dudley might do well walking with a Sling Harness:
http://doolittlespetproduts.stores.yahoo.net/liftnaidslings.html

Create rituals Dudley can look forward to each day. Spend 15 minutes grooming him or, if Dudley has short hair, giving him a rubdown. Teach Dudley a little trick or-even better-a little task the dog can do for you in your daily routine. The genuine pleasure you will take in the dog's help will come through clearly to the dog. Play games together, if he'll play with you.
If Dudley enjoys the company of other dogs, maybe having friends bring their dogs round for visits would help. Have visiting dogs wear a jingle bell, so Dudley will know where they are.

Strengthening your relationship with Dudley and helping him make a transition to a new stage in life and perhaps even a whole new personality is healthy for you, too. It takes time to work through grief. What you do to help your dog adjust to the life changes of losing a canine companion can be wonderfully healing for you.

Given plenty of time and love, Dudley will almost certainly get better, but no one can say if he will ever behave the same as he did before he lost his companion.

If Dudley seems to have a hard time getting around without Pepper there to help him, this website might help you help him:

http://www.school-for-champions.com/senses/navigate_blind_dog.htm

http://www.blinddogs.net/

There are big developments in treating dogs with SARDS:
http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2007/05/070531094241.htm

If you feel you'd like to talk to a live person about these hard choices, the College of Veterinary Medicine at the University of Illinois has a free helpline staffed by veterinary students who have have received training by professional grief counselors and receive ongoing supervision by a licensed psychologist. People who are either grieving the loss of a pet, or are anticipating a loss are encouraged to call their toll-free line at: 877/394-CARE (2273).


I hope I've been a help.
Best of luck,
Patti