Advice? our rescue dog hates me :o(

Question
My boyfriend lost his German Shep over a year ago and it was unexpected and very sad. The dog was amazing and it was my 1st real experience with a large breed and I fell in love with him as well. I am mostly a cat person but he changed my attitude. Anyway, About 4 months ago, we had some friends really encouraging him to adopt another dog and I could see how he missed having a dog around, so I agreed. He adopted a rescue of the same breed (GS) and was told he had not been abused but was a little shy. OK, we decided we could deal with that. Turns out, he had been through some sort of abuse, physical maybe but definately mental. He belonged to a breeder and was left in a kennel most of the time and was used for breeding purposes only (we suspect) The owner died and he was left in the kennel for 2 weeks with no food. Terrible. Long story short, he doesn't play, bark, or any normal dog things.He hates to be outside (fenced in yard) Has tantrums like digging holes (if he is out longer than 30 minutes)and  knocking over his bowls and shredding stuff, but only when we are not home. Keep in mind this dog is about 100 pounds. He is super afraid of everything and especially me :o( He has managed to bond with the boyfriend but is terrified of me and it's breaking my heart and causing lots of problems in the home.I have tried everything to bond with this dog, and he is not interested. When we are alone, He looks at me like I'm the devil and when I enter a room he leaves :o( But he acts different when his dad is home  wagging his tail....nuzzling him for a scratch on the head but will not come near me. If the boyfriend hugs me, then he will get up and demand attention from the boyfriend. WHen I enter the house he runs out wagging, sees it's me , drops the tail and foes back into his bed :O(
Help??!!! It's really tearing me & the boyfriend apart.

Answer

Hi Denise,

Some rescue dogs have known abuse or neglect, or was just so poorly socialized, that it impacts their behavior. With plenty of love, patience, and time, they can learn to be more trusting, but may never behave like a "normal" dog.

Because you've had the dog for four months, and have been trying to build a better relationship with the dog but haven't been able to, I would strongly suggest first visiting a good behaviorist and then getting him in formal training. He probably needs a total reconditioning toward people. All desensitizing processes take time & a lot of patience. Formal training in a group setting is much more rehabilitative than you working in your living room. Both are important, but getting him out and into a group with a good trainer will change him the most.

Until you can get started with a behaviorist, take things one day at a time. For now, do things with him that are safe and fun for him (find games he likes and can win, to help build his confidence). If possible, do all of the feeding and walking of the dog, so he can start to rely upon you, and see you in a leadership position.

The tantrums the dog has when left outside alone, sound like a separation anxiety. You can read more about this here:

http://www.hsus.org/pets/pet_care/our_pets_for_life_program/dog_behavior_tip_she...

Best of luck,
Patti