lab growling

Question
Hi.  We have a yellow lab who is three years old.  Our concern is that he tends to growl at our four year old when ever she nears him.  He also shows a strong fear factor when my husband or I approach him on discipline issues, he begins to shake intensely.  This morning he growled at our 7 yr. old which he has never done before and one morning I spoke with him about not sleeping on our couch and as I was pointing to the couch and saying, in a firm but not loud, voice that he is NOT to get up on the couch, he sat there with his head down shaking and growling at me.  It was a very strange happening and all of these things have concerned us especially where are children are concerned.  We also have a 16 yr. old daughter that he absolutely worships and he has never growled at her.  Should we be concerned for our little girls especially our four year old or will all of this pass in time with him?  

Thank you.

Answer
You have a major problem that won't be getting any better itself.  At 3 years old, his personality is mature and won't be easy to change.  The key to most behavior problems is approaching things using the dog's natural instincts.  Dogs see all the people and dogs in the household as a pack with each having their own rank in the pack and a top dog.  Life is much easier if the 2 legged pack members outrank the 4 legged ones.  You can learn to play the role of top dog by reading some books or going to a good obedience class. A good obedience class or book is about you being top dog, not about rewarding standard commands with a treat. Start at http://www.dogsbestfriend.com/  For more on being top dog, see http://www.dogbreedinfo.com./topdogrules.htm  that site has some additional material on dogs and children you need to find and read.

Even then, the problem may be beyond what you can do.  I only suggest a professional trainer in the worst cases.  This is partly because I can suggest a good book, but don't have a nationwide list of good trainers.