Old cat seems to resent new kitten :(

Question
We have had two cats for 14 years now; Barney and Patches.  My mom accidently ran over one of them backing into the driveway about 3 weeks ago and then he finally died on Wednesday (we actually had to put him down) from kidney failure.  It was probably the hardest thing that I have ever done and my heart still hurts so bad.  "Barney" was actually my sister's cat and Patches mine but we all love both of them dearly.  My sister works at the vet office where we take them and where we put Barney down.  The office manager there.."Karen" has a granddaughter who had 3 kittens and offered her grandmother to give one of the kittens to my sister "to make her feel better".  We felt that the gift was a blessing in difficult times and welcomed the kitten with open arms.  Patches, on the other hand, HATES the kitten.  All she does is hiss and arch her back at the kitten and the kitten hisses every once in a while but for the most part completely ignores Patches.  Patches has also hissed at us!!!   I'm a little scared of what Patches may do to the new kitten (who doesn't have a name yet, we can't agree on one).  Please help!  Patches has been through alot...lost her eye in a cat fat, been VERY sick, and now her best friend, brother and mate...Barney, is gone.  What should we do to help Patches with her bitterness?  Lots of Prayers but not sure what to do....thank you for everything!

Answer
Amy,

I'm SO sorry to hear about Barney. But a kitten is NOT a good choice for a friend for Patches. Patches is going through separation anxiety and grieving for Barney. Then he is expected to put up with this young 'whippersnapper' with new smells and who is invading his territory.

Patches is 72 years old in human years. That is like an old man losing his mate of 72 years then trying to replace the mate with a 5 year old child. If you wanted to get a friend for Patches, go to the pound and get an old cat who will be put down because no one wants an old cat. But even that may be stressful to her.

Old cats do not take stress well and this kitten is obviously  stressing her alot. With cats Patches age things start going wrong and the stress of the new kitten may hasten things along.

And it's not fair to the kitten either.

My advice is find another home for the kitten right away. And give as much love and attention to Patches that you can.

I am including an article on cat grief that may be of help to you: (copy and paste, or type, the whole link into your address bar)

http://www.messybeast.com/cat-grief.htm

Tabbi