Older cat needs new home

Question
My 4 year old son suffers from asthma and I am pregnant with my second child - due in 3 months.  My husband tells me we have to get rid of our cat for the sake of our children's health.  I have been told by my son's doctor to get rid of my pets.  My cat is 10 years old and has been with me since he was a kitten.  Will he adapt easily to a new home?  I'm worried he will be unable to adjust.  He is very affectionate with me and I will be heartbroken to have to give him up.  Do cats get heartbroken also - or would he even care?   I am also having trouble finding someone who wants a cat who's 10 years old.  Not to mention he is a long-haired cat who sheds a lot of hair!  I live in Massachusetts.  Any comments/advice for me?

Answer
Hi, there.  I have a solution.  Get rid of your husband!  I'm kidding, of course.  I love my cats to the detriment of my own marriage, though, and do find it tempting at times. :)

This is a sad situation.  I want to warn you that my answer may be discouraging, so you may not want to read it unless you're REALLY prepared for the truth.

Sadly, cats do suffer heartbreak.  I really don't wish to lay a guilt trip on you, but I have known several cats who have literally died of grief.  When one of my older cats died, a cat who was very close to him fell ill.  It was later found he suffered from a heart defect.  He'd managed his entire life to compensate for the defect.  But the grief proved too much.  Even with medication, he died only three months later, and all the vets agreed he'd died of grief.

Many other cases stem from the fact that broken-hearted cats often end up with behavioral problems, like overvocalization or litter box problems.  Being that there are many normal cats available for adoption, those with behavioral problems are usually put to sleep.  And with kitten season quickly approaching, older cats are also the first to be euthanized.

Another of my cats died of cancer last October, and I'm having a heck of a time with his "brother," who's developed a terrible problem with aggression since he died.  

Cats are also notorious for having difficulty adjusting to new environments.  Even in instances where their owners move with them, cats going to new homes become very stressed out.  During moves, they often become susceptible to illness due to the stress, and many do develop those behavioral problems I mentioned above.

However, there are many cats who, although grief-stricken, will be strong enough to get through the six-month grieving period and go on to live happily in a new home.  I have fostered well over a hundred cats.  The oldest is a 13-year-old who has adjusted reasonably to her new home.  Perhaps a dozen of them ended up with behavioral problems (which responded to anxiety medications, by the way).  Chances are good that your kitty will get through this difficult situation.  Breeders place retired breeding cats, averaging about 3-6 years old, in new homes ALL THE TIME!  Most often, they settle into their new home and make wonderful companions to their new owners.

Think of the millions of cats who go to new homes every year.  Certainly, if cats were not resilient creatures, and if they all ended up with behavioral problems, they would not be America's most popular pet.  As people do, cats have an amazing ability to recover from hard circumstances.  

You can liken the situation to a child put in foster care.  Of course, it is a very difficult time.  Ideally, the child would not have been taken from his original home.  But the child does adjust.  Many of them do develop behavioral issues.  But many also become happy.  There's not really any telling how the situation will turn out.  But when undesirable circumstances arise, what else can be done?

So, you are confronted with a difficult situation.  Your decision has already been made.  All I can say to you is, make the best of a bad situation.  Do your best to find a home for him through a trusted friend or family member.  If all fails, consider relinquishing him to a no-kill shelter (see http://www.saveourstrays.com/no-kill.htm).  

I do apologize for the bleak tone of this answer.  However, being involved with cat rescue for 8 years now, I fear I've seen more sad stories than happy.

There isn't anything to be done to prepare your kitty to be rehomed, especially if you're dropping him at a shelter.  If you're fortunate enough to home him privately, send along all his toys, his food and water bowl, his bed, etc., and a t-shirt you have worn, without washing.  Your scent will help comfort him.

I do wish you and your kitty luck.