Shelby

Question
Hi
We have three cats.The yougest is two.We got her from the SPCA.She is small-looks like a big kitten.
She is only really affectionate with me-and quite demanding of it.She needs to be petted-the harder the better,and especialy her head.I have taken to hiding my hands when she comes around!It is kind of flattering,but a bit annoying too.I wonder if she didnt get any affection as a kitten? Why does she have this need,and only from me? Also,she comes when called,but only to me! Thanks.

Answer
Barry,

Cats, like people have differing personalities, that are molded partially by genetics and partially by environment.
Some cats love everybody, some cats love nobody, some cats love one and only one person.  

It is difficult to know why Shelby has decided to bond so tightly with you.  However, she has and you need to appreciate it.

When she comes around for petting, you do not have to devote all of your attention to her (although I have had cats who demand the attention so much, there is little else you can do).

One suggestuion is that, no matter how much she seems to demand it, never, never, never pet her roughly.  This encourages a kittenhood desire to play rougher and rougher (as older nursing kittens and weanlings do with each other).   So, you need too pet her gently and mutually enjoy the attention, but do not let the degree of petting get out of hand.  Gently does it and, eventually, she will be happy to accept that rather than not being petted at all.  The danger of rougher and rougher petting is that can lead to aggressive behaviors which is something to be avoided in a cat at all costs!!!!!

When we socialize young kittens, if they start with rough biting and scratching behaviors, we stop the petting and stroking, get up, and walk away.  They soon discover that to continue to receive petting and stroking, they need to learn to be gentle with us.  Part of the reason is that cat skin is very, very tough and scrtaching and biting really do not hurt them (unless it totally gets out of hand).  On the other hand, we humans have soft skin and, so, kittens need to learn to play gently with us.

I hope this will help with Shelby.  By the way, it is probable that if you do not let her come and adore you and be adored by you, there is a possiblility she could change to more aggravating attention getting behaviors, just like children.  So it is necessary that you and she work out the parameters of your relationship over time (and we are taliking about weeks to months, here!).

Best regards... Norm.