Bully brother...

Question
Hi Jessica,

I have 2 cats that are brothers about a year and a half old. Up until about 3 months ago they fought like normal kittens, playful and not too rough. Lately it seems that one of the cats is severely bitting and bullying the other one. This was first discovered when we arrived home after a long weekend trip (someone came in to feed them while we were away...) when we got home and was patting one of our cats we found little wounds on his neck. We wondered how it could have happened and shortly after saw the other cat go after him and bite his neck furiously. I yelled at the cat out of shock and hit my hand on the floor to scare him. This continued for a bit and then stopped for a while. I travel a lot and my husband is home with them and says as soon as I come home, this one cat starts this same behavior again. I can't figure out what to do when he attacks his brother and think I am reacting wrong. For instance tonight I was so close that I grabbed him and picked him up and yelled at him again telling him that he is a bad bad kitty. He is very sweet with me and lets me do anything with him but no one else can touch him and I don't want him to change with me now that I am scolding him. Please let me know why he may be acting like this and what I should be doing ..?

Truly Confused... Krissy

Answer
Hi Krissy.  I understand how you're feeling.  I'm going through this with two of my kitties right now.

You are right that scolding is likely to strain your relationship and not do much as far as training him.  I consulted a couple of animal behaviorists years ago, and they both agreed that a time-out is the best way to train an aggressive cat.  A clap or shout is okay to stop the fight, but once you have a hold of him, I wouldn't scold him any further.  Just limit the offending cat to his carrier or to a bathroom for 15-30 minutes when he gets too rough.  If he's truly playing but is getting too excited, this will cause him to realize he needs to play gently.  If he's seeking your attention, it will teach him he gets ignored when he fights instead of attended to.

Most cats learn very quickly using this method.  I generally see improvement in a couple of weeks.  The case I'm working with now has been going on for two weeks.  I hadn't had to separate them for the last week, but this morning, I did have to put one in her carrier.  However, it has gone from harassment 100% of the time to very little harrasment at all.  I'll continue to work with them this way, and I have confidence I will still see more improvement.

It sounds as though your kitty's sudden aggression is related to the stress of your being away.  I really don't know of a way to prevent this, since you must travel.  There's a product called Feliway that has helped in many aggression cases by reducing stress.  I have a friend whose cat was extremely aggressive.  She started using Feliway and swears by it.  I use it myself to reduce my cats' stress.  I recommend the plug-in diffuser, which is called Comfort Zone.  You can order at www.felineway.com, or buy it at pet stores.

I don't know how you would feel about these two, but they are options.

One is to consult an animal communicator.  They may help you and your kitty to better understand one another and help you come to a resolution.

The other would be anti-anxiety medications.  The friend I'd mentioned earlier tried her cat on an anti-anxiety medication called Clomicalm (clomipramine).  It worked wonders, and then after a few months, the cat was weaned off of it, and they used the Feliway alone.  The behavior has not started back up.  I use amitriptyline in one of my cats who was always aggressive, when nothing else helped.  I'm floored at how it helped him.  He's a much happier cat now.