Moral Issue

Question
Hello, I see you have expertise in the caring for homeless and orphaned cats. About a year ago, my boyfriend was in my backyard chasing ducks out of my pool. These ducks were really tame, so just running towards  them wasn't enough to scare them. He got a skimmer pole to splash at them with, but they had flown away. He went to put the pole back where it was against the house, and he said he had the crap scared out of him, when something leapt out of the window well. It was the "male" cat we had been feeding scraps to. We had grilled out excessively last year,and this stray cat was hanging around, but "he" was feral and unable to be caught. Anyways, my boyfriend said he heard movement down there, so he lifted up the half collapsing grate, and under all of these leaves and dirt were 3 of the most precious kittens in the world! My boyfriend left them in the hole, ran upstairs and was yelling. I thought my grandma had died or something. "There are kittens outside!" he exclaimed. "Bullshit," was my reply. He drug me outside in a Miller light tshirt and a pair of panties. He lifted up the grate...No kittens...I really wasn't believing him...He dug around for a few moments, and he pulled out this dirty little golden long haired kitten. Then he pulled out a dirty little long hairded brown kitten, and finally a spotted black and brown short haired kitten. I was in shock. The he cat was a she cat! And she had babies! We held the kittens at my patio table  for what felt like hours, even though it was less than 15 minutes. My boyfriend and I sat there, and debated on what to do. The kittens were crying and their mother appeared. My boyfriend, and I decided to take the kittens and hand raise them ourselves, until we could take them to the shelter (LOL the shelter part never happened!) Tony and I figured that if we just put them back, they'd become just more strays that would either breed excessively and make more unwanted kittens, get hit by a car, die from heat or cold, be abused, become ferral, become ferral and possibly be caught by the SPCA and put to sleep, or end up starving to death. I couldn't bear the thought of that, so the same day, we stuck them in our huge pet carrier we had for our dog, and went to Wal Mart the same day to buy kitten formula. My boyfriend and I dilligently bottle fed them for the next month. They had their eyes opened and were able to stumble around when we first found them, so I figured they could be hand raised from then on. Actually, one of them was starting to turn ferral. She hissed at Tony and I for the first week we had her. She also refused food for several days. I had to force feed her, and now she is the happiest little cat in the house, sleeps with me, shifts her weight on me and suckles, purrs, and loves on me all of the time. All  of them do. I am so happy we found them. They've made my life so much happier, I feel more complete. When we found them, my mom's death anniversary was in 3 days. I was so busy with the kittens, I failed to remember it. It was also a good anniversary present, as we found them on the same day as my boyfriend and I had met the previous year. We tried in vain to catch their mother. We set traps and everything. She wouldn't come. I still worry sometimes there might have been a fourth kitten she took and scrambled off with, but I think we did the right thing.  My question is, there have been a couple people who have thrown up to us that we were kidnappers, theives, etc. My grandma says that especially. Was it right of us to take the kittens? Was it morally right? Was it good that we saved them from a life of having to fend for themselves, spared them the pain of being breeding machines, gave them love and food, and  a warm place to sleep every night? I think we were right. It still bothers my boyfriend though when my grandma gets drunk, and tells us we should have left the kittens alone, and that we're thieves, kittens kidnappers, etc. He blames me because I told her where they came from and she STILL hasn't dropped it. They live with my boyfriend, me and his mother. At first, she wasn't happy, but now she absolutely loves them. Thanks for listening.  

Answer
Hi Lacey!  There is no question here - you did the right thing.  Ask any trap, neuter, return organization, and your decision will be backed up 100%.  I work with PawsWatch, a TNRM (trap, neuter, return, monitor) organization based in Rhode Island.  We routinely take kittens away from their feral mothers because everything you said is true.  If they're allowed to nurse and be weaned by their mother before they are socialized, they're going to be feral.  And a feral life can be a hard one, as you seem to know very well!  Even supposing you had them trapped and neutered, they would still face all those dangers you mentioned.

We all have broken hearts when we think about the grief poor mama must feel from suddenly losing her kittens.  Cats do, indeed, grieve every bit as much as people do.  It is never easy for any of us to have to take a mama's babies away.  But in this situation, it's the right thing to do.

I can understand your grandma's sentiment.  But you should go on believing you did the right thing.  You absolutely did!