Help with my Ram

Question
Hey Lynda. I've had my male German Blue Ram Cichlid for almost a year now and he is perfectly happy in his planted tank. I recently purchased him a female (since the last female I gave him worked out so well before she died because of her eggs) but he seemed really angry with this one. I'm not sure what to do. She was in the tank maybe 2 days and now she's dying (probably dead as I write this) I don't know if he is so upset over his first love dying that he won't take another female or what? should I give up hope on getting him a new mate? Any help would be appreciated! Thank you!

Answer
Hi Liz,
This happened to me with an Angel Fish.  When the male lost his female, he would not accept another female in his tank.  He actually mourned himself to death.  I kid you not!  I tried everything you could think of.  I put him in a community tank, and that didn't wotk, so I put him back in his tank.  I must have bought him more than 15 angels that looked exactly like his mate, but he didn't want anything to do with them.  Attacking them, until I had to buy another tank to house the Angels.  I have seen this happen with Severums, and other South American Cichlids.  I am convinced that some cichlids follow each other into death.  They seem to have the 10 commandment in their heads!   I have bred little rams, the first spawns they are really lost, and don't know what to do with the fry..let them be if it should happen again.  They get to know what to do when they are older.  Sometimes the female does not accept the male after the spawn, and he must be removed.  They are not that easy to breed!!  After the fry are free swimming, I would remove the female.  It always observation, always with cichlids.
There could be another reason with the Ram.  We must never forget that cichlids must be of equal force for them to mate.  If they are not of equal force, the stronger one will kill the weaker one.  Before accepting a mate, they grab each other by the mouth, and waltz all over the tank. They back up, and start up again, they can do this for an hour, and we must watch them.  This is called the nauptial dance.  If one turns his back, and tries to swim away, the stronger fish will attack him/her, and kill her.  Observation is always the key.  If he is eating, I wouldn't get him a female for a month, and when I did add females, I would add 3 females to his tank.  If he turns on them all, then you will know for sure that it is useless.  He will never accept another female,  Change the decor before adding fish to his tank.  I know many people will contradict this, but I have seen it very often with cichlids, and I really do believe that some do follow their mate into death.  This is very sad.  Ram may be little, but they have the same character as the big ones, they are territorial, so maybe if you change the decor, move things around in his tank, he might not be so aggressive, as he will be busy finding a new home, along with the new fish you will add.   If it doesn't work with the females you will add, try adding little catfish.  Rams seem to get along with cory catfish.  If you do add catfish, add five or six as they live in groups.
Hope this helps
Lynda