so much...

Question
ok where to start...i have a 12 year old arabian/thoroughbred mare and she had a lot of problems...like shes barn sour. She goes backwards and trys to run back and she just goes in circles, also she screams to her "boyfriend" she is like totally stuck to him and sometimes she just screams at him the whole time i have her out. She use to never do this stuff at the place we had her at before. Im thinkin it might be her "boyfriend" cause i cant think of anything else. Also she likes to throw her head a lot and also one day she was screaming for her boyfriend the whole time the farrier was doin her feet so then she reared up. She seems to be just getting worse and seems like she has lost her respect for me. She still is kind of bonded with me, but just doesnt respect me...please help

Answer
Hi Becca!

It is okay!  You can get through this!  This is what becoming a student of the horse is all about.

You are right with you say she is stuck to her boyfriend.  Horses bond to horses.  They know their own kind.  Being herd bound is a difficult problem and trust me you are not alone!  

We are going to make the right thing easy and the wrong thing difficult.  Some of the things I'm going to tell you are difficult so I want you to look up Buck Brannaman and Ray Hunt on the web.  Look for their Colt Starting and Ground work DVD's.  This will make what I'm saying more clear when you can see it.

Ground work will be very important for your mare.  Teaching her to disengage her hindquarters is like giving her an emergency brake and a clutch.  Her engine can rev but she can't do anything bad with the energy.

If you can set things up, I want you to work her as close to her boyfriend as you can.  Really make her get busy.  Hind quarters, front quarters, backing in circles, roll her to the left and right really turn the heat up.  Then I want you to walk away from the boyfriend.  If she is quiet and relaxed rub and praise her get real soft and comfortable.  When she yells for her honey-bunny, get busy again.  Really put her to work.  DON'T get mad at her!  Just put her to work.  When her focus is back on you take a few more steps away, rub, praise make her feel good.   Keep repeating this pattern.  Soon you will be able to get further and farther away from her honey with out all the fuss.  She will begin to associate the boyfriend with loads of work and maybe he is not that good a deal for her.  But, it has to be her idea.  You cannot force this.  Take your time and when you solve this problem with quality, many of her other issues will be gone also.  

Keep be posted on your progress.  If you have more trouble, let me know and we will work through it.  I can also put together a resource list of good qualified teachers that can also help you, so let me know.

Smiles and Miles!  Denise