One year old colt who is gelded.

Question
QUESTION:

I am concerned about Perfect my one year old colt who is gelded and me and I really need some advice.
We have been in Aubrey exactly two weeks.
The setting here is that he has a huge pasture with plenty of shed, water, feed, (alpha hay and coastal hay, with Purina Pellets for grain) at feedings and his pasture is nice enough for sure.
He has been an angel of a horse always. I can put his halter on and lead him any where.  But since moving to his new home his attitude has changed.  He has a fillie named Winnie living next door in a large pasture and they are very compatable.  Then there is another fillie Izzy who is dominant over Fab, the other colt.  They all four have played once together... and Izzy dominated Perfect and Fab kicked at Perfect and not sure if she got him, however if he had it was a hard kick... to me at least... and don't want any broken bones.

Anyway all has been fine and dandy.. then last Saturday 2/14, I went to see Perfect and when I went into his pasture he was grazing and i dedided to clean his shed so i let him out into the grass alley to hang out and touch noses with Izzy and Fab and Winnie.  But when it came time to put his halter on him to bring him back to his pasture... he rared up and i knew i could get hurt if i tried to get close. I thought..hmmm what is the deal here and it sorta made me angry... so i then got the lead rope and put it around his neck and literally tugged him down the alley, but lost my balance and fell backward,,, and then i thought... ok buster...
so finally i herded him into his pasture with some force... not physical... but body motion and the lead rope... and then he hurried into his pasture... bucking and kicking and i knew he was so angry....... finally he calmed down and got his composure so i went into his pasture to touch him and his face said mommy I am sorry... BUT his actions were so out of character.

Then the next day i went out to see him and went into his pasture to say hi... and then as he came up to say hi he motioned his hoof up and toward me... however  i just wanted to stay out of his way... so then i went up to the fence and he followed me and he wanted to come out of his pasture so he could play in the grass alley and see his friends...
But due to his pushy attitude and trying to paw at me with his hoof, i decided that i would not let him out... and I really was not sure that he would let me put his halter on to lead him out.. and I did not bring it with me to his pasture..... because of yesterday...
so then he went to his fence to touch noses with Winnie and i went in to see how we stood and he rared up his front hooves and i put my hand out and he kicked it.....
fortunately it just left a bruise,,,, but the situation made me cry... girls... why do we cry..??
funny when i cried he looked at me... as if to say 'mom' are you alright... and I said no Perfect you just kicked me.... then as i put my head down to really cry, because one day he is Perfect and today he is ... well who is he?...  and then there he was at the fence to see how i was... it was my Perfect... but only for a second... then his attitude was back..
he just made sure i was ok.. but he wanted out to play!
anyway... i am thinking that he thinks i am his playmate... and just want some good horse advice...

tomorrow should i go out and put his halter on him and take him out to walk the property...
actually i am sorta upset over it all... one day he is this perfect Perfect... and today i am wondering how to handle him/ the situation??

advice please  

thank you,

Kay


ANSWER: Hi Kay!

I hope you have read some of my past answers and have a feel for how I am.  I will not lie to you and I will not sugar coat things for you.  That is not my job or my purpose for volunteering on this site.  I will talk straight to you and I hope you will think about what I say.

You are on a path of real trouble here.  If you don't change who you are and learn everything you can about the horse, you could be very seriously injured.  Your horse is NOT your child, your horse is a horse and he is looking for a LEADER he can trust.  He does not know what to do with you.  You are not his leader.  What you may be is a subordinate herd member that needs to be dominated.  This colt is putting you in your place which is below him in the herd order.  You don't read his body language, you don't anticipate what he is about to do to correct you and you are submissive.  YIKES!  

Your horse is just being a horse.  He is not doing anything unusual for a horse.  As he is growing, and figuring out his world and starting to mature, he is in the process of figuring YOU out as well.  What you are teaching him every day is that you are a herd member of no consequence.  You are not dominate, a leader he can trust or someone to be respected.  You are teaching him this.  This colt does NOT have some attitude of a teenage human.  He is just being a horse.  Horse are honest to the core.  They DO NOT have an agenda like a human does.  The horse is just doing what he thinks he needs to do to survive.  Simple.  The horse is never wrong.

The horse has a need for self-preservation in mind, body and spirit.  This is the essential nature of the horse.  This is the nature that the horseman tries to use and not fight.  The horse is  a complex creature and the basic need of self-preservation must be preserved and protected.  To communicate with a horse and develop a partnership that stems from respect and leadership is what will make a close trusting bond.  Your horse will not follow a leader that is weak.  As a matter of fact, weak leaders create intense fear in a horse.  Horses are also extremely intuitive.  They sense and feel the fear, frustration, anger that comes from a weak leader.  You can not hide what you are feeling from the horse.  They know and feel it and most human emotions serve to do nothing more than frustrate and scare the horse.  You are NOT this colts mother.  He knows and will always know his mother.  If you put him out in a pasture with 100 horses, he would find his mother.  You are either a subordinate herd mate or a leader.  Simple, clear, definite.  

Kay, your instincts ARE working!  When you say that he thinks of you as a playmate...you are right on the money.  Time for some real changes and quick so this does not become an entrenched pattern.  Babies are fun and cute to play with.  In a horse this is a huge mistake.  It creates a level of contempt in the horse that is very difficult to change.  The more interaction horses have at an early age, if it is not done with extreme care and caution, will create a spoiled, braced, disrespectful horse.  It is not the horses fault, it is the fault of the human.  

Do not take you colt out for a walk, he is NOT a dog.  Kick him out with others his own age and allow him to grow up.  Learn how to accomplish REAL, quality ground work and do just enough so that you can lead and handle him with respect and accomplish vet and farrier work when necessary.  There is so much for you to learn, if you are willing.  I can't spell it out for you here, there is just too much and you really need to get on the fast track in order to stay out of trouble.  I want you to watch the "Ground Work" DVD by Buck Brannaman and read the little "Ground Work" book.  This will show you clearly what you are missing and how to get it done.  It will be overwhelming for you.  There are things here that you have never learned or have never been exposed to, but they are critical to your success.  I also want you to find a foundation horsemanship/colt starting clinic with Buck Brannaman, Ricky Quinn or Bryan Neubert and go watch. Your colt is too young to start.  That has to wait until he is two or three. Talk to Buck, Ricky, or Bryan and tell them what is going on.  Ask them to help you find someone in your area that can give you some hands on help, because this is what you need.  Then read, read, read.  Read my past answers, go to my website and look at the resource list I have posted there and start going through that list.  To be the kind of horsewoman your horse will respect and follow, you have to know horses and how they think, feel, act and react.  You have to learn their language.

This is how and where it starts, Kay.  There is NO simple answer or pill to swallow for what you are experiencing with this colt.  You have to learn how to be as gentle as possible and as firm as necessary and how to take care of what happens BEFORE what happens, happens!  Do your reading, watch Buck's DVD and then give me a shout and we will start working through the first steps of changing your relationship with your colt.  You must have the first building blocks so I know we have some solid understanding.  Get busy.  You have a few hills to climb.  This is a most wonderful and difficult journey and you will love it.  

Smiles, Denise

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: Denise,
Thank you so much for your sound advice.  I will get the dvd and the book and read read read... in fact that is what i have been doing for a good year... i was going to purchase a horse from LaCense Montana... a horse that is ready to ride.... but then there was this little 9 month old colt named Perfect who was so adorable.  I knew that i would not be able to ride for a good while.. and from everything i read it said to bond, groom, pick their hooves up to clean and show them as much as you can by leading them around... So that is what I have done.  
I agree with you totally about the 'respect' and i know I am the leader.  I DO!  And i will make sure that Perfect knows that too.  Here is my question: The location that I board at has pastures for each horse, with a shed.  It is a big pasture,,, however the horses do not get to be together, they is a fence to keep them from touching or being together.  Also I don't have access to let him play in their pastures with the fillies and stud colt... who are all around 1 year old... exactly the same age.  I wish i did have that so they could just hang out and be horses.
So basically he is by himself.   Do you think that I should look for a boarding facility where he is in the pasture with other geldings... I mean it is not like you have that much to choose from.  I was boarding in January where he was with a mare and long yearling.  But moved him because it was to far out for me.  So in the mean time I will let Perfect know who the leader is... ME... and if you would share your thoughts on the best environment for him.  Thank you so much!
Kay

ANSWER: Hi Kay!

I always tell people to listen to their instincts and intuition.  This is so important.  You, Kay have good instincts, unfortunately, life and society have trained us to NOT listen.  Trust yourself, you are on the right path. Ray is always telling us that we have to ride with our hearts, and our souls, and our guts.  It is so true.  It is a level of honest that we have to have in the presence of horses and if we are so lucky and aware, we take this same feeling and way of being out into the rest of our lives.  To live life as honest as the horse is the greatest gift we can give ourselves.  Buck says "Horses and life, it is all the same".  

You bet, find a great place for this colt to grow.  It would be nice if the owners of the other yearlings would allow them all to buddy up.  Yes, there will be some conflicts, but horses are really good at sorting things out.  There will even be some kicking and biting, again, this is how horses communicate with each other.  Still, growing up in a herd is ideal.  If you can't make it happen where you are, find it.  

Your HORSE is your best teacher, really.  Observe, compare and remember.  Look at herds of horses that are balanced and functioning in a healthy way.  Horses are direct and clear.  If it only takes a pinned ear, snaked neck and a curled up nose to get a herd member to move, that is all the more it takes.  If a nip or bite is necessary or even a kick, it is done and then it is over.  End of story.  No picking, no nagging, no anger, or grudge.  Watch horses.  Learn from them.  Have the same confidence, calmness and assertiveness.  Watch mares.  They will tell you how to be.  Be as gentle as possible but as firm as necessary.  

You are on the right path Kay.  Keep searching for what you know will be right for this colt.  Look up my teachers and attend a clinic.  They may even be able to help you find a place with someone close by that would be ideal to raise your colt.  

Keep me posted.  I'm here for support and guidance when you need it!

Smiles!

Denise

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: Denise.. one more question...
what would you think if i put Perfect in a 17 acre pasture with four mares.... they are on the same property as where he lives, but in the back pasture... trees and round ring for hay... but plenty of grazing...
thanks,!
Kay

Answer
Hi Kay!

Hummm...I'm always pretty iffy about putting one young horse out with herd of older mares.  17 acres would be just perfect for Perfect, but I'm a bit worried about how the mares may react to him.  I don't want a yearling to get cornered or run hard by mares that won't allow him into their herd.  Remember, mares are intact breeding animals and are very different than geldings.  Dealing with a mare is very much like dealing with a stallion.  A gelding or even a young stallion has no purpose for these mares.  They could be very rough with him to the point that it could be dangerous.

I might try turning him out with the mares if they were a very, VERY gentle group of girls.  I would go out with him WITH my flag and if things turned sour, I would send the mares away from him (by using my flag) catch up my colt and try to find a better answer.  Make sure you colt is good at hooking on to you before you do this so he knows what the flag means and he will look you up in a hurry.  

Again, it would be perfect if you could turn Perfect out with the other yearlings in a nice 17 acre pasture.  Have you talked to the other owners of the yearlings?  Turning all the kids out together would be so wonderful!  I would sure hope they could see the value in this and you all could put something together.  

Keep me posted.  I'll cross my fingers that you can get something going with all the babies together.  This would really be the best.

Smiles!

Denise