shetland pony

Question
heloo my name is stephanie i live in north carolina my husband was doing a side job for a fellow at work in thanks he gave him a pony because sadly to say his wife who tended to all the ponies and animals passed away 5 months ago. he gave my husband the pony as a barter he felt sad because he knew nothing about them. being a animal lover i live on a 3/4 acre property but have no experience with horses only hamsters rabbits dos and cats . i love this horse named pistal he is about 7 i was given no info at all and no tools. i am looking for a book for dummies i say because of no experience or any help. he was loved by the women and she did spoil him i can tell because when he wants your attention he nips or when he wants to be fresh he pushes his head into you .. ho knows his name and has never been ridden. he seems very smart and healthy..i am scared because a horse is not a human or does not come  with a manual but i love him and want to learn to make him happy . he also pushed my 5 yr old son down we all thought he was trampled but he was scared only. please help..stephanie new pony owner....

Answer
    Oh Stephanie,
  It would appear that you have set me a pretty arduous task, however I will try my best. I am not entirely clear in my own mind, as to what exactly you are asking me, so I will just concentrate on the issues that jump out at me.
  Far and away the biggest of these, is what happened to your son. I don't know what happened, after the pony pushed him down, but it does sound dangerous. You may not like what I am going to say next, but I think it is necessary. For the moment, I would forget about making the pony happy. Your first duty is to make him safe to be around. You are quite right, in saying that horses are not humans, and one big difference is that their social set-up, is not based on ideas of equality, and fair play: but rather on the idea that the winner takes all. Again I agree with you, insofar, as it does sound as though the previous owner did spoil him. In doing so, it would appear, that she gave him the idea that he was "top dog", and he possibly bullied her. Since shetlands are so small, she may have been able to tolerate that situation, but when a child enters the picture, everything changes.
  I'm afraid that poor old Pistal has to do like "Humpty Dumpty", and have a great fall: right from the top of the pecking order, to the very bottom. If you can wholeheartedly accept, what I said in that last sentence, then it is possible for you to have an obedient, well mannered pony that is a pleasure to be around. If you cannot accept it, then I fear you will not achieve a good outcome.
  The only way the situation can be turned around, is by you "playing the game" according to his rules. At the moment he thinks that he can bully humans. You have to teach him that humans bully him. I know that might sound harsh, but you are never going to be able to teach him the principles of "Liberty, Equality, Fraternity, so his language is the only option available to you. I am not going to be able to explain exactly how you go about retraining him in this e-mail, but I hope to make a start in the next one.
  Meanwhile I have a few suggestions. Firstly,keep all children well away from him, secondly, go on the Internet, and look for some articles on "Round Pen Techniques, Herd Dynamics, and Natural Horsemanship". These ought to give you some further insight into how equines operate, and how to establish yourself as the herd leader, without recourse to violence, and crucially using a language that they understand, namely "body language".
  I have made these suggestions in the hope of speeding up the process, but I intend to get back to you over the next day or two, with some practical steps, on how to proceed. In the meantime,I would find it helpful if you could let me know what you think of what I have said so far, and anything you may have picked up from the articles I have mentioned.
  And finally, may I welcome you, to possibly the most exciting club in town ie. "The Horse Owners Club". If you persevere,I cannot imagine that you will find it anything less than exhilarating.
  For the moment,
         Slan,
         Brendan