New Cockatiel

Question
QUESTION: Hey. i got a new cockatiel which i think is a male. and is about 3 months old. i  bought him Sunday January 10th at a pet shop and I'm writing this letter to you on the eleventh. before buying the bird, the people at the pet shop told me that all the cockatiel were hand-fed. I had some Really important question about him because i would love for him and me to have a healthy relationship and be around me when i want him to without us having to fight. The first question is. Today, (January 11th) i took him out of his cage to handle him. its pretty easy for him to step up on my finger and everything but once he is on, he ALWAYS tries to get away from me and wanders where ever he wants to go. why is this? do i need to train him or something and how? i have 2 books about cockatiels. one talking about their life and another talking about clicker training. they are pretty useful but i would like someone to be besides me and my bird while we  are progressing. so PLEASE don't just tell me "leave him in the cage for 3 days then take him out and play with him". i would LOVE it if you could give me some stuff like "first do this, AFTER you done this, do this..." I'm sorry I'm exaggerating but i used to have 2 parakeets and lets just say terrible things happen to them because i had no support from whoever and got the wrong information from the wrong people/ :(. I'm IMPATIENTLY waiting for your answer.

- Alvin

ANSWER: Hi Alvin,

Ok first of all you must understand that this bird is very new. This
is an unfamiliar environment to him and he is going to be nervous.
That is not unusual for him to run away from you. You can NOT be
impatient about this process. I understand that he is a baby and was
handfed, that is great, but it really depends on how much they have
been handling him at the store.
It is good that he steps up, that is a great start, however, to him,
you are forcing yourself on him and he needs to understand that he is
allowed to do what he wants. When you "push" a bird such as "I want
you to step up right now" a lot of times that pushes them away from
you and your trust between you and him damaged. Birds are all about
trust. During this time you need to be handling him and allowing him
to step up, however, you cannot make him WANT to stay with you. He
wants to wander and check things out in the new environment. Why not
let him? What is the rush? You have this bird's whole live to train
and build a relationship. Not all birds are cuddly, even when bought
from a baby they can still not 100% love to be handled.

I think you need to work on positive reinforcement. Step him up and
praise him, give him treats and such. Make him understand that you are
ok. Birds are naturally curious, set his cage with the cage door open
beside your couch while watching TV or near your computer when you are
online, that way he can make the choice to come over to you. You don't
need to call him but instead watch TV and ignore him, watch out of he
corner of your eye and he may just come right over toward you.

You can do clicker training and if you are interested in how that
works here is a video for you:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LbXHrqqEIp4

I also suggest that you join this site and get suggestions from other
Cockatiel owners:
http://www.avianavenue.com/

Thank you and good luck!


---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: WOW. THANKYOU so much for the quick response.i was expecting you to like answer 3 days later... my bird has long nails and refuses to let me cut it. i dont know what to do about that. and i'm planning to have on the back of a chair for me to clicker trAin him to step on my finger on command. but wouldbnt he like fly a bit. i dont mind him flying a bit but the problem is most of the times when he flies suddenly when im not expecting it, i freak out and show fear that im scared of him and it becomes a whole problem handling him again from then. because he starts feeling powerful and starting to fly to scare me i guess. he doesnt bite hard, its more like a nibble, and his wings are clipped but two of the feathers on one wing hasnt been cut thats what make him fly a bit. Any help will be appreciated. and thankyou for your help so far.

ANSWER: You are very welcome. You will want to take him to someone to have both his nails and wings done. I don't think you are experienced enough at this point to do it safely and he will need his wings clipped for the training. Really this is not a matter of his behavioral issues but you getting over your fear of him. You are not going to go any further with training if you are afraid. I would also like you to view this video.
I understand this is a much larger bird but the same thing applies.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_d5CE7ANHkQ

This really sounds more like he is afraid of you. Don't take him away from his cage. The cage is a safety zone so when you put him on a chair or walk away from the cage he is getting very uncomfortable and insecure. You need to handle him on his cage for now and not in it so you don't invade his space. This is going to take a while for you to build this trust.
I do still stand by my previous suggestions as well.
Good Luck!

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: THANKYOU again. so far you are by far the best expert i ever had and i've been on this site for 2 years... if its ok with you, i would really love for you to help me along the way with my cockatiel. what i mean is. i could send you an email when i dont have questions maybe every five days to tell you how everything is going. and you could tell me what to do. so you are saying the first step right now is to just let the cage door open and let hikm come out on his own. am i right? or should i Carry him from his cage so that i can just handle him?  

Answer
Aww thank you so much! You are welcome to send me an email, I can even refer you to my website where you can contact me there. I help a lot of people with behavioral issues. I really encourage you to join the site I recommended, Avian Avenue. I am on there daily and it is a great way to gain knowledge from other bird owners. I have pictures and storied and videos of my birds on there. I think that is exactly what you should do for right now, leave his cage door open and perhaps offer him treats and let him come to you! That is one of the first mistakes that many bird owners make, when they get a new bird they want to handle it from the time they get it and they don't stop. The bird becomes the human equivalent of annoyed, because they are not given time to breathe. Smothering him with love in other words.
My website:
www.thebirdnerdsrescue.com

Thank you again!