Trainging my 4 month old male boxer and behaivor problems

Question
My husband and I recently got a boxer he is just over 4 months old. him 6 1/2 months pregnant and my husband is also a U.S Marine so he is gone alot. When we first got bo we had him at my mother inlaws house with us. There were people there and also 4 "wiener dogs" He never seemed to have a problem and got along fine with the dogs and with people. Since we have brought him home to our apartment with us, i will take him outside to the bathroom, i usually try to do it first thing in the morning when we get up and then a couple hour later and so on and so on. he seemed to be doing well but now he will come back inside and pee on the carpet after already going to the bathroom outside. (Just when im home). Like i said before my husband is gone alot so that leaves me disipling him and trying to train him. I read that its not good to spank so iv been putting him in his kenal and telling him no if i catch him int he act. and then taking him outside to where he needs to go to the bathroom. But he still dosnt seem to be getting it. I have been tryin so hard to keep him off furniture and such becuase he also likes to pee on the couch and bed. So iv been tryin to work on that but he dosnt seem to be listening to me now. Like when he gets on the bed i will tell him no and pick him up and put him on the floor, but with me being pregnant and him getting bigger, i cant keep doing that. Also now if i take him outside and there are people or other dogs outside he freaks even if he hears them. His hair stands up on his back and he darts twards the door, sometimes growling or throwing himself around. It has gotten so bad that i am afraid he will bite someone or even worse turn on me. He flips out with loud noises too, dosnt matter what it is a truck a lawnmower it could be anything he just starts freaking out and pacing the room and such. He is so afraid of people now like when i take him outside and someone walks by he starts to freak out. Iv been tryin to get him to stop being afraid but everything i try is not working. Even with dicipling him i will tell him no and he wont listen to me. He is so skidish now, and my husband dosnt see it the way i do becuase he isnt home  much. And when he is home he plays with the dog and wont really diciplin him much if he does something wrong, even putting him in the kenal he gives me a hard time about putting him in the kenal. Wich really dosnt help with me tryin to train him. He also destroys the house while my husband is gone, but has not done it while he has been home. I feel like the dog dosnt like me becuase im the one who diciplines him. He is just getting to be too much. If i try to put him in his kenal now he takes off from me and i cant keep chasing him around with the bigger he gets and the farther along i get witht he pregnancy. I know boxers are awsome dogs, but i feel like bo is going to turn on us one of these days with the way his behaivor has been going. I just have reached that point where i dont know what to do anymore. Im more concered with him being people friendly and not being so afraid than i am with the house trainging becuase he is doing so much better with the house training then the behavioral skills. I just need help from someone with experience and my husband dosnt see the dog as much as i do, so to him everything is fine, when in reality its really not. Can you please give me some pointers. I really dont want to get rid of bo, and i want to work with him b ut i feel like im not getting anywhere. I can use all the advise i can get!! THANK YOU!

Answer
It sounds like you have your work cut out for you! I don't think that this dog sees you as alpha, which is a very important thing. As for him freaking out, it's very important the owner stays super calm. This will help show the dog that there's nothing to worry about. Don't make over him, just get his attention fixed on something else, a treat, toy, whatever. I honestly feel that obedience classes or even a triner will help you with this boy. It will help you gain control, and teach you what you need to know to make him into a good canine citizen. Another important thing, is your husband has to get on the band wagon as well, and be consistint in the dog's dicipline. Record the dog's behavior while your husband is away, and show it to him when he returns. Stress it to him that if this dog bites a person or animal, you guys will be held liable. I really feel that the classes or trainer will be better able to help you. They can see exactly what your dog is doing in person, and teach you how to correct it. They usually offer classes at a reasonable price, sometimes even free. Talk to your vet office or local dog club. I don't know what plans you have for the dog, but having him neutered may help some. Try doing this: keep a leash on the dog while he's inside. When ever he acts like he's about to freak out or growl, walk him around, and distract him. When outside, when ever he displays an unwanted behavior, simply turn around quickly and walk the other way. You have to do this every single time. Consistancy is the key when training a dog. When he's doing something wrong inside, let out a loud, "Ack", or "NO"! You can also fill a can up with beans and tape the open end. When he's doing something wrong, toss the can. The noise will usually stop them in their tracks. You can also get a spray bottle and fill it up with water, and spray them in the face. They do make sprays that are suppose to deter an animal from getting on furniture. Since you express fear of this dog becoming aggressive, I'll seriously suggest those classes or a trainer.