Change in relationship with owner

Question
QUESTION: Hi. About 6 weeks ago I rescued a young black female kitten who is reckoned to be about 6 months old. When we introduced her to my older tabby (6 or 7 years) the older one behaved reasonably well and didn't do anything other than what we expected. She established her authority and dominance and there were a few spits and cuffs here and there with the odd chase and tumble, but nothing too alarming.  Certainly the little one didn't seem too phased by it or afraid and would chase back. They would sniff noses and have a little groom together, but never actually cuddled up together.  The older let the younger one eat from her bowl when she's nearly finished. The day they both climbed on my lap for a doze made me think I'd cracked it, but over the last few weeks, my older one has become more moody. She used to deafen me with her purring and she'd groom me, chirrup at me and make warning sounds to me if she saw something odd outside. We'd play 'catch' and jump out at each other all the time (at one point I thought of calling her Kato, after the Japanese man-servant in Pink Panther, who was always leaping out at Peter Sellers).  I used to blow raspberries on her belly daily but now she won't even let me rub her. Now she doesn't do ANY of those things and has become more aggressive toward the young one. She still lets the young one lick her - but suddenly spits and lashes out at her. She lets the little one finish her food still and they still have a chase, but I've noticed she will spring at the young one and is more aggressive. She still lets me pick her up and cuddle her, but she won't stay for long and she has withdrawn all love from me. I'm absolutely gutted and wonder why it's happened after it started so well.  The sense of resentment towards me is palpable. I expected a bit of jealousy and resentment, but not AFTER things seemed to get better.  She will now attack the little one if she tries to get on my lap too whereas before it was ok for a while. I so want my no.1 baby back, but there is no way I can part with baby no.2 because we are all so bonded. Please tell me that my older cat is in a phase and that she'll get over it and come back to me. The new one has recently had her first 'heat' could this have had an impact? New baby is due to be spayed in 2 weeks - will that help?

ANSWER: Sue,

The baby not being fixed could have a lot to do with your older cat's behavior. Hopefully that will change after getting the little one spayed.

Also whenever there is a noticeable change in behavior you should have the cat checked by a vet. An age-related problem could have an affect on her behavior and moods too

Tabbi

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: Thanks Tabbi, I'm hoping that will be the case. In the meantime I'm carrying on as usual and making sure that affection is evenly distributed. But I've also decided that I'm going to set some prime time aside for me and no.1 because I've noticed that now little one is starting to go outside, my no.1 gets a bit of time to play with me on her own. Her expression is different and today we played together almost like old times - although we're not quite there yet.  She seemed pleased that no.2 wasn't going to muscle in on the game and demand to be part of it. Once no.2 is spayed and the warmer months kick in so they won't be cooped up with each other for so long, I'm hopeful that things will improve. Thank you so much for your reassurance.

Answer
Sue,

Setting aside special time is good. I do that with my cats. When the weather is nice I make them all go outside except for the 'cat of the day'. The one cat gets my attention, gets a new toy, gets to play with no interference, and gets special kitty treats.

Some cats are more sensitive than others, which your cat may be. A couple of mine, if they are playing with a toy, and another cat shows interest in it, they will completely quit playing and ignore their toy.

You are lucky the cats are getting along as well as they are. Usually older cats do not like kittens (probably because of their energy and smell). Older cats do not take stress or change in their habits and routines as well as a younger cat, and some will not accept a new member to the family.

Be careful letting the little one outside until she is spayed!

Let me know how things are with the older cat after the spaying.

Tabbi