kitty not affectionate

Question
Dear Rosie,
Thank you very much, your advice was very helpful but in addition I would like to know how I can make her close to us (me and my husband) again. Or is she going to stay distant forever?We give her tons of love and kissies every day, is there anything else we could do to restore the "love"?
Thank you Rosie and let me tell you, you are doing a great job :-)))
         Gina
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Followup To

Question -
Dear Rosie,
I contacted you a while back and you were of great help and so here I am again.
I have a little kitten, who is about 2 months old. She is full of energy and adores to play all the time, but she is not affectionate at all. When she was younger she would sleep with me in the bed but I insisted that she sleeps on her own pillow. But now she does not want to sleep close to me, and if I pet her while sleeping, she gets up and moves to another spot. She gets close to me only when she wants to play, and this makes me very sad. There is no affection from her (except when I come home after being gone for a few hours).I don't know if this is normal and if she is going to be like this forever. Can I do something to make her love me?
I have been thinking why she is like that and I have been using water gun to stop her biting my hands? Could this be the cause?
Dear Rosie, please help. Thank you very much in advance,
         Gina and Sachka

Answer -
Hello again Gina and Sachka!

I would say that the watter bottle could very well be what's behind her change in behaviour.  Watter bottles don't do much by way of teaching a kitty that what they're doing isn't okay.  It just serves to make them more obstinant or want to have their distance in general.  

I would recommend that when she bites you, that you would put your hand on her head (fingers between her ears a bit and facing her tail) and push down slightly, just a bit of pressure.  This is something that mama kitties do to their kittens to remind them who's boss, so don't worry, she'll know exactly what you mean by the action when you do it (especially with her being so young still).  You won't be abusing her, or anything, don't worry...it's a perfectly natural solution, and will send the message loud and clear.  It might take a few times, but give it a shot, give it a couple weeks, tell her to get down (or put her down if she doesn't know what "get down" means, and that'll teach her the words' meaning) afterward, and she'll learn not to bite you anymore.

It's tough to teach a kitten at her age, but she is at the cusp of settling down from Insane Kittenhood, so you shouldn't have too much problem.

Let me know how things go, ok?

Hugs to you both!

Rosie*
P.S.  I'm so happy to hear I helped you the first time around!  Let me know if you ever need anything else, or if for some reason this advice doesn't work, and we'll figure it out together, ok?  :o)

Answer
Thank you so much, Gina!!  That's so nice to see!  :o)

Honestly, things will repair themselves in time.  You might try buying some kitty treats and rewarding her with them as she improves in her learning not to bite, and even just occassionally as a treat.  I recommend Temptations brand chicken-flavored treats.  I've not yet met a cat that didn't LOVE them!  :o)

Don't worry too much...she's still so young, she'll be quick to forgive and move on.  It's not like you did anything heinous or horrible, it's a very common thing to try.  Just be sure that the water bottle is completely out of her site.  If you find that she's not improving with a week or two, maybe give her the water bottle to take her frustrations out on.  Put it on the floor, and leave it there, with yourself positioned at least a couple yards away from it...and let her explore it and sniff it, and chances are, she'll bat at it and be all suspicious...but she'll learn that it's harmless, and even have a fun time for a bit biting at it and throwing it around.  It'd be quite healing for her!  :o)

So, give those things a shot, and try to remember...she's still so little...she knows you love her, and will get over things quickly.  The more love and encouragement you show her, as well as patience in her adjusting to not having that anymore, the quicker she'll come around.  :o)

You're obviously wonderful kitty parents, so things will turn out just fine.  :oD

Love and hugs to you all!!

Rosie*

P.S.  Be sure to keep me updated and let me know if you ever need additional help, okay?  :o)