Mean female cat

Question
Hi, I am wondering if you can give some added insight to my problem.  My boyfriend and I moved in together about a year or so ago, him with a female and me with a male.  From the beginning, his female had been a terrible bully to my "momma's boy."  I tried every method of introducing that I am familiar with and nothing worked.  It took them a considerable amount of time to get used to each other, and now I think they mostly just tolerate each other.  The male is now 4 years old and the female is 3 years old, so there is not a huge difference in age.  The major problem now is that when my male is using the litter box (I have two boxes, but they are in the same place as there is no other place), the female will hear him and wait for him to finish.  Then she will attack him as he is leaving.  It is almost a game, as my male knows full well that she will be waiting, but he certainly doesn't like it, and retreats to his "refuge" on the dining table chairs.  We will be moving in March and I will most definitely have room to put the boxes in two different areas, but am concerned that the female won't care and will continue her game.  Do you have any advice or reasoning for this behavior?  

Answer
Noralee,

It should be interesting.  They are going to a new home with no pre-conceived territorial imperatives, so it is not clear how they will inter-relate, once they get there.

Older cats tend to do better with kittens rather than with cats close to their own age when they are first introduced.

Also, cats have a number of different pecking orders which include (but are not restricted to) territory, litter pans, feeding.  So, having litter pans in different parts of the house is a good idea, if you can do it.  Also, you may want to have separate food dishes, in the same area is OK, but separated enough so that one cat cannot coral both!

As to the litter pan attacks.  If the male were really, really bothered by those, he would find another place to do his business.  We tend to attach human emotions to things cats do.  Cats do not think like we do.  One of my tenets is that humans do not understand how cats inter-relate.  Another tenet I have is that human interference is counter productive.  In any case, if the litter pan attack game continues, you will know that the male has some complicity in this.

When you get to the new house, I would just put them in and see what develops.  They may still not get along great, and any hissing, spitting, posturing and the like should be ignored.  It is also possible that they may start getting along better, who knows?  No matter how much noise there may be or even loose fur, do not separate them and do not intervene.  Let them sort it out between the two of them.  It should only take a few days to a few weeks for things to work themselves out in the new house.

I hope things go well with your move.

Best regards... Norm.