kitten jelosy of his mum

Question
QUESTION: hello ... I'm starting to be desperate ... I got a cat (chica) and his 6 day old baby (miau) ... now a 6 month cat ... :-)
the baby has become very attached to me so much that he doesn't let the mother come near me, it has reach the point that they don't play anymore, the mother is total ignorant to the baby, and makes me very sad, I'm even considering getting another one, to see if they will play together, they were soo loving with each other! and now nothing ... just agression, jelosy ... :-( ... the mother look so depress at times, and the baby gives me the most evil look when I pet her mother, at times he has just jump from the ground to my arms and fight with her mother while I'm holding it!!! .. it is just such a extreme that I don't know what to do! ... can you help please
thank you
nicole
:-)


ANSWER: Hi
I will start by describing the natural behavior of cats in the wild so that you can have an understanding of what is happening with your two cats.

It is normal behaviour for cats to drive there kittens away once they are older than four months old. this is because in the wild they have to protect there territory. too many cats in the same area means less food and less mating partners. So it makes sense to drive them away so that they can find there own territory.

Now in your two cats situation. You have not said whether one or both of them have been neutered or not. I am assuming they are not. because there behaviour would suggest a strong territorial need to drive the other cat away. this is natural even though they are related, there instinct for territory is stronger. You are also a part of that territory and that would explain the aggression.

The best answer is to have them both neutered. this will make them much more calmer, happier contented cats, without all the frustrations of their hormones causing them to be so territorial.

It may take a little while after neutering for them to clam down and feel confident with each other, but it is worth it in the end.

Hope I have been of some help.

best wishes Kate
http://www.our-happy-cat.com



---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: Thank you Kate ... I apreciate your answer, and yes, it would make sence if they were not neutered, but they both are ... now the situation is actually even getting worse, were the male cat is defecating in my bed and room. They use to sleep with me, now they are bad both of the room, as I can't leave the door open for them to come in and out. In case they needed drinking or going to the bathroom.

The male, pee in my bed as he pleases, and the other day I had to covers on my head and I hear him straching the blanket on top of me, I look and he was about the defecate on top of "my head" ... so I just quickly carrie him to his box. He does not seem ill (in which then I understand sometimes they do not use their little tray) and their box is ususally clean. I now voluntire myself in a rescue centre and they mentioned that it could be that my hormones may have change and is atracting him to do that ... ? ...

I love them very much and their is not way I will give them up because of that ... but yes I need to find out why he is doing that and why the agression between mother and child continues (maybe it will always be so, like families that don't get on that well ... lol) ....

with that, I have stop to interfere when they fight, as I think that it may be something they need to sort between themself,
but should I tell them off? would it be my place as a boss to do so?

Thank you, I know there are few questions all together, would you prefer if each question is on a diferent post? ... :-)

thank you again
:-)

Answer
Hi
no you should not tell them off, they won't understand and it may just make them fearful of you.

the defecating on the bed is not due to illness but of territory. the bed is often the place they choose as it smells strongly of you and they are trying to add their scent to this.

the aggression may never fully subside but usually over time the cats settle down into a sort of truce. Definitely do not get another cat i think this would make everything much worse and territory would be even more of an issue.

All i can suggest is that you read my page about Middening here
/cat-poo.html
and follow the litter training period for the cat which is using the bed. i would then also make sure you have separate litter trays for both your cats in different areas and make sure the cats have different areas in the house for themselves. I.e  cat beds etc. this will help them with some of their territory issues.

The best advice i can give you and it may be difficult to follow , is to try and remain calm but controlled with the situation. It could well be that the cats are picking up on your anxiety about the situation and this can make things worse. Quietly, slowly and controlled, this behaviour from you will help give the cats confidence too.

Also make sure you spend time with each cat playing games etc, this is also good for helping cats feel more confident and secure.

best wishes kate