foster cat

Question
Hi Ali,
I have two male Siberian cats, one almost 2 the other almost 1.  We are currently fostering a female cat (4/5 yrs old) that is supposedly also a Siberian.  I'm not sure of the exact conditions that she was previously living under, but I have seen her react to my husband, (who is a huge cat lover and kind person) in a negative way. Possibly this behavior has come from her having previous negative experience with men.  She has been hiding out for the most part, but slowly coming out and starting to eat and use the litter box.  She currently has her own room.  My main concern is how/when will I know it's safe to introduce all cats,  as I do not want to traumatize my cats and or the foster cat.  I'm also concerned with any of them hurting each other.  Are there suggested books to read or some pointers you can give as to how to introduce them.  My other concern is for her to feel safe which hopefully she will feel in time.  She seems to trust me most, but at what point do you feel I should be able to pick her up and safely touch her?  She has a beautiful spirit, I can tell, but she seems very sad.  My heart breaks for her.  Lastly, if a home is found for her, I'm so afraid if she was to come out of her shell with us that the trauma would be too much for her again.  What is the recommended amount of time if the opportunity arises to give her another happy home?  Thank you for your time, and I look forward to your response.

Answer
Kim,

Ultimately when introducing a new cat to the household I don't recommend that they meet face to face until they've been in your home for 2-3 weeks. You can begin feeding the cats on either side of the closed door (new cat on one side, resident cats on the other) to the room your new baby girl is in so that they can begin to make positive associations with each others' scents. I have answered a large number of questions on introducing a new cat or kitten into a household with cats already in residence, you can certainly check those answers out for more details if you'd like.

Working with a traumatized kitty like this will take time, patience and plenty of understanding - you may want to consider trying her on some Rescue Remedy which is a Bach flower remedy that blends 5 different flower essences to calm and reassure. You can find this remedy in most health food stores. I recommend gently rubbing 2-3 drops onto the outside of her ear flap 2-4 times/day to help her feel less frightened. My advice as far as touching this kitty and picking her up would be to let her determine the pace. Sit down on the floor with her, get absorbed in another task such as reading a book or doing a crossword and she will let you know when she is comfortable receiving your attention and affection.

As far as re-homing this baby girl goes I'm not sure that I would - you'll develop quite the bond with her in the next few weeks as she works through her issues with you and your family, some cats aren't willing to go through those difficult times a second time and you may find that you become too attached to her to consider giving her up. If you have any further cat related questions or concerns, please don't hesitate to contact me again at any time - I'm more than happy to help you and your cats out in any way that I can.

Kind regards,

Ali