My once-feral kitten

Question
About two months ago I caught a feral kitten around my work who's mom had been hit by a car. I brought him home and left him alone. We leave hard food down for the cats, and feed them about 2 or 3 good spoons of wet food at 4pm every day to make up for any nutrition deficiencies, as well as a treat. He was doing well, playing with us and taking treats out of our hands, but recently one of our female cats decided to adopt him. She's fixed, but still has symptoms of going into heat. She'll clean him and he'll suckle, and he follows her around. He's always run when we approached him, but he'd cuddle and let us pet him once we picked him up, but now that he's a bit older, he runs from us, doesn't purr when we pet him and tries to get away, and she's become a bit stand-offish as well. What can we do about this behavior? Has he regressed, or is he just being a normal "teenage" male kitten? Thank you for your help.

Answer
Hi Charlie,

It sounds like he's regressed. This can happen easily when cats with a feral start don't get lots of continued intensive contact. It sounds like he never quite tamed down all the way, and now he's more interested in bonding with the female cat than with you. Unfortunately, at this point, I think you need to get tough and separate this fella into isolation and work very closely with him. Otherwise, I believe you are going to have a completely unmanageable kitty on your hands when he is an adult. As someone who's made that mistake, I can tell you it's no fun.

I recommend that you either move him to a small spare room, or a bathroom, or even rent a dog crate to keep him in. This way, he has little room to run from you. Approach him with a calm and confident demeanor. I suggest that you not only pet him, but you hold him. If he's uncooperative, sit on the floor with your legs criss-crossed. Hold the scruff of his neck and place him on the floor in the middle of your legs. He will be mostly immobilized as long as you hold his scruff. Then stroke him until he's calm. After a few minutes, allow him to go (or return him to his crate). Also, hand-feed him treats while you hold him. Work with him this way until he's tame. Every cat progresses differently, but you should see him move along in a few weeks.

Also, work with your female until she's behaving more like herself. The term "copycat" makes perfect sense. A very friendly cat can encourage a feral to come out of his shell, but a feral's fear can also cause a cat who is prone to nervousness to become distrustful. I wouldn't reintroduce the two until they are both friendly with people.

Good luck!

Jessica