brothers no longer bonded

Question
hi, I have two six month old male minilops. They were so close and loved each other to bits.  When they hit the four month old mark they had a fight and the mounting began. They eventually had to be separated.  I did not completely seperate them though. They still could see one another and groom each other through a fence. I also swapped them around every so often. One rabbit had his neutering operation at four months old, and the other rabbit was not ready for his until 3 weeks later. I waited 6 weeks before trying to bond them. Unfortunately I found that they found a way to get through the fence when I was not there, upon ariving home oneday I found fur everywhere and one rabbit trapped in the hutch, too scared to go anywhere.  I waited a day then began trying to bond. There was no aggression, only chasing and nipping, then i stopped it, because one rabbit was  scared.  I did a car ride the next day then left them in neutral territory, They groomed each other!!, the next day they shared an apple! Today they do nothing! The car ride nothing! I am so over this that i cried! Why wont they go to the next step. I don't think its going to happen! I thought they had nearly made it, I felt such progress when I saw them grooming. but I am still sensing huge tension and they were chasing and nipping today. What can I do, do you think they will be brothers like they used to?  Please help me.  Ive read all the bonding stuff I can find.  What am I doing wrong?

Answer
Hi Tracey,

you are discovering bonding is both art and science.

As you have said you have read all the bonding info you can find, I will skip over background info and get to your final question.

In my opinion, what you're doing wrong:

1.  You need to take time to do this.  It is neither a perfect match nor one hates the other, it is in the middle and this is going to require weeks to months of supervised sessions in neutral areas.  Maybe shorter as they have already made good progress according to your note.  But don't worry about a timetable or setbacks.  Recognize it will take time and accept it.  

This bonding process is often stressful on us too, sometimes it feels even more so on us, but any day without fighting is a good day.  If they don't do anything, that's fine too.  Indifference isn't bad - it shows they can be in the same area together without having a problem, and that's good because they can be themselves and do what they want to do and the other one isn't giving them any grief.  Charging full speed at somebody and tearing their ear, now that is a bad day.  

2.  Not every day is going to be as good as a prior day.  They are like people that way, they have moods and such and some days it just goes better than the other.  If every day is supposed to be better than the other, we'd have no divorce, or people falling out of love with each other!  Why do we expect our pets to behave in a way none of us can?

3.  They won't go to the next step because you could be breaking them up too soon.  The chasing and nipping needs to continue until the dominant rabbit is recognized by both to be the dominant rabbit, then once this is settled, the next step will occur.  They have already groomed, but in the early stages the dominant one will continue to exert dominance and expect to be groomed first.  This has to be allowed to be established (and when they are separated and then the next day placed together again, it has to be established all over again).  The did make huge progress grooming but then you separated them, and this caused things to be set back so that the next time they were together, it was like starting from a few steps back.  

Anytime they are separated, even for a few hours, re-bonding is often needed.  As long as it doesn't escalate into true fighting (which you would need to stop) the dominance issue has to be done because they won't go further if it isn't - they are hierarchical animals, and somebody is the top bunny.  (Of course you are the real alpha bunny, but this is just between them.)

Other than this, you are doing the things necessary to bond two rabbits that are neither hostile nor in love with each other.  I think I should also mention that even when they are bonded, two males will still occasionally have a tussle once in a while.  Dominance may shift from one to the other because of this.  But it could also turn into a full-blown fight and they may ultimately need to be separate, so be aware of this potentiality as well.  On a side note, if you ever get a female rabbit you will have to separate your boys, as they will most likely start fighting with each other over her appearance.

You may also find one or both like to play together, but prefer not to be in a cage with the other for a variety of reasons.  Don't force them to live together if one doesn't want to - it's putting them on a path to a fight down the road.  This kind of arrangement would definitely cut down on the potential for injuries and fighting, but still allow them good interaction time with a buddy.

I hope my reply helps.  Write back anytime about this or anything else.

Lee