Rabbit Bonding Difficulties

Question
Hello Dr. Krempels, I have a neutered 9 mth old male mini-lop that we adore - named Thumper.  He was doing very well but looked lonely.  I wanted to give him a companion so we purchased a baby female mini-rex - named Caramel.  We got her at only 4 weeks old which should never have happened but I felt she had a better chance under my care rather than in a dirty bin all alone at the pet store.  She is now doing wonderfully, is exteremely loving and friendly, and is about 6 weeks.  Maybe it was too early but in the past 2 weeks we followed many of the bonding/introducing suggestions: putting their cages side by side for days, swapping cages, and having them take turns in the main play area so that Thumper can learn Caramel's scent.  Neither of them minded and they would groom themselves, eat each other's food, and try to sniff each other through their cages.  However, when we put them in a neutral room in the house together Thumper got really uneasy and started thumping and growling.  Caramel wanted to kiss him and wanted to snuggle with him and he would charge at her.  My husband and I, armed with spraying water bottles and thick oven mitts (looking ridiculous) would stop the fight right away, separate them and yell no.  Thumper would be so aggaravated he would start growling at my husband which he has never done before and even charge towards him as if in warning.  We did this for short periods of time every day for about a week and then we stopped altogether.  I can't risk allowing Thumper to actually get to Caramel to see what he would really even do - his approach certainly is not friendly.  Also, it appears that poor Caramel is now petrified of him.  She bolts to hide in her cage when she hears him make sudden sounds in his own cage.  They are in separate rooms but could still see each other so I have put up a large piece of cardboard against Thumper's cage so that she doesn't have to see him.  I'm so frustrated that this is not working out.  Did we start too early?  Do we have a chance if we start again later when she is full grown?  It defeats my original good intentions to now have 2 lonely rabbits. I would be grateful for any advice or process you can suggest.

Thank you!

Answer
Dear Olivia,

Well, it seems that what *you* considered neutral territory was not neutral territory in Thumper's opinion.  The main reason for neutral territory is to make *both* rabbits feel fearful and nervous, and thus have them rely on each other for comfort.

This might mean taking them on car rides (in side by side cages, or with someone in the back seat to monitor them if they are physically in contact) to a *really* neutral place, such as a willing friend's house.  Make sure the room is BIG, and OPEN, so there are no places the bunnies could squeeze in and get trapped together, fomenting a fight.  The key is to have enough space for the bunnies to check each other out without having to "get into each other's faces."

A friend of mine put it well when she explained, "When you get on a subway, you might see someone attractive, but you don't go sit right next to them if you don't want to creep them out.  You check them out and gradually move closer, etc."

It's like that with bunnies.  If they feel forced, they will get nervous and aggressive, and fighting is more likely.

There are other articles here:

http://search.atomz.com/search/?sp-a=00062824-sp00000000&sp-q=bonding

with helpful tips, too.  I hope you can start fresh and have a nice bonded pair very soon.

Good luck!

Dana