I NEED HELP

Question
QUESTION: I bought a pet rat for my 2.5 year old son to enjoy. Our hamster recently passed away and he was devistated. The man at the pet store told me rats were better suited for children but needed more care and attention.. which i felt we could do since i am a stay at home mom.
We chose purely on who was friendly and easy to hold. We ended up getting a small male about 6 months old.
Once home we let him settle in for 2 days before attempting to take him out.
However he seems terrified. Whenever he sees anyone he hides in his home and rocks back in forth.(in fact he NEVER leaves his wooden box) I am able to reach in and grab him to take him out and hold him (when he is held he lays completely flat and will not move)... and i thought maybe if i took him out at night when everyone was in bed he would get used to me more and respond to the attention.
He still acts the same way and it has been 2 weeks. The man at the pet store said i can bring him back and "trade him in" but i felt too horrible to do that. He is such a sweet rat. What can i do to maybe change how he feels toward myself and the family? He is in an area where he can see everyone move throughout the house. It is not very loud.. and I make sure that when he is out he is safe and away from my son, pets, and anything loud. I just feel we have made no progress and that this whole thing may have been a mistake

ANSWER: By all means, don't give him back to the pet store!!  He is so much better off with you than there.

My answer to you will be many-fold, so please be patient as it may be a bit long.  First of all, this is one of the many problems with buying a rat at a pet store rather than adopting from a breeder.  The pet stores do not socialize the rats, whereas a good breeder will handle their rats daily from the day they are born.  Also, pet stores don't choose their rats based on their health and temperment...a good breeder won't even breed a rat whose temperment is not good.  

Your rat's behavior is normal considering the environment he's come from.  He is very scared.  He probably also feels so very alone, since at the pet store he was surrounded by other rats, perhaps ones he's been with since birth.

My first piece of advice to you is don't let your boy be alone for another day.  Please go back to the pet store and get another boy to be his companion.  If possible, get one that he has shared the same tank or cage with.  If that is not possible, get a very young baby boy so he can learn to love him (getting a baby boy reduces that chances of male hormones kicking in to cause fighting).  It is soooo very important for rats to be in pairs of 2 or more...they are very social creatures...because you cannot be with them 24x7.  In fact, a breeder won't even adopt out a single rat, always making sure they go home in pairs.  

You may be wondering why I'm telling you to go to the pet store to get a 2nd rat after I just spent time preaching about the benefits of using a breeder.  That is because you need a companion quickly.  Adopting from a breeder is not that quick and easy...often your name sits on a wait list for weeks or months before you can adopt (but so well worth it, trust me.  Something to perhaps consider for the future).

You may be thinking that taking care of 2 rats will be more trouble.  Not so at all.  You may also be thinking that getting a 2nd will ruin chances of the 1st one ever being social with you.  Also not true, in fact the opposite may result much more quickly.  Your rat will be much happier and may open up to you sooner.

Allow the 2 boys to first settle in together before trying to socialize much with them.  Be warned there may be some fighting for dominance (which is normal), which you need to let them work out themselves, and only intervene if you see blood or terrible violence.  This may take a few days.  

After this, you'll be ready to work on what's called "trust training" to help your fearful rat(s) accept you. Be prepared however that this will take a lot of time and patience on your part to work through.  It's not a guarantee that your rat can be trust trained, but I would say if you're willing to put in the time and effort, the chances are very good.  

I'm going to direct you to a good article on a trusted website which details step by step what you should do to train your girl --> http://www.ratforum.com/showthread.php?39776-Timid-or-Aggressive-Rat-Trust-Train

I wish you lots of luck.  If you are successful, it will be well worth the hard work you put in.  If not, at least the 2 boys will have each other.  I'd love to hear from you about how it went.


---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: Thank you for your reply back. I have considered the second rat only my husband isnt even fond of having one. The little guy has opened up a lot since my last email. He likes to come out and explore and seems to play with his toys more in the cage. I thought about getting a small critter play pen so that he can have some time to play without constantly being held and watched.
He does seem to be lonely though.. but the other rats at the pet store did not seem very friendly and infact seemed to pick on him while we were in the process of picking him out.
Do you think if I kept him as a single he would be alright. He is constantly getting attention through out the day and never seems to sleep anymore now that he knows someone in this house is always awake.
If not i would have to invest in a bigger home for two.. and def a critter play pen.. because with my two year old i am lucky to be able to keep track of this guy when hes out much less two. (especially since he likes to investigate EVERYTHING.)

Answer

My Rattie Penthouse   I'm so happy to hear the good news that your rat is becoming more friendly with you.

However, your husband won't like my answer to your question:  Although your rat will be "alright" if kept alone, he will be extremely sad and lonely.  No matter HOW much attention you give him, you cannot be with him 24x7, and at night when we sleep is when rats are most active.  Rats are very social creatures, as are humans...think of the analogy of keeping a human in solitary confinement.  Besides, the attention we can offer to a rat, no matter how loving, will never compare to one of it's own kind.  We can't snuggle while we sleep with our rats, but this is exactly what rats need is that kind of close companionship.

I'm giving you this link to a well-written article from a trusted source.  It is quite long but well worth the read.  Pay especially close attention to the paragraph labeled "Is it acceptable to keep a rat alone if you give it plenty of attention?"  Here is the link:
http://www.rmca.org/Resources/apair.txt

As far as your husband, is he the caregiver to your rat, or are you?  If he wants nothing to do with your rat(s), then it is easy for him to do.  It's not like a dog that runs around the house.  If he doesn't like rats, then he simply need not get involved.  If he thinks it's more expensive to house 2 rats...hardly!  Only a little more food, and rat food is cheap (you can make homemade mixes...let me know if you want a recipe).  I suggest you work on convincing him that 2 rats are imperative for the reasons in the article I've linked you to...have him read it.

Also, there is a wonderful video on youtube that you MUST watch, and have your husband watch it too.  Everytime I see it, it brings happy tears to my eyes.  It is titled "Pet Rats - why it's important to have two or more".  It's about 2 adult male rats and their close friendship.  Hopefully, your husband will understand the importance after watching this.  Here is that link to the video:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cDy3bMRuobE

As far as the critter playpen, BEWARE!  The market doesn't seem to make a good playpen that rats can't escape from...rats are super crafty and smart as a whip.  With my very first rats, I was naive and bought a playpen that was 12 inches tall.  What a joke...it took about 2 seconds for my baby rats to hop right out.  Then I bought a kiddie pool with a taller wall...same problem.  Next, I found a large playpen by WARE that is about 2 feet tall...better, but one of my girls learned how to scale the walls to get over the top.  She's a little older and fatter now and it's harder for her, but she still tries.  In other words, I could never leave my rats unattended in any playpen.  I finally got a brilliant idea!  I bought about 10 large thick cardboard poster boards (the kind used for school projects that are sturdy and dont bend) and duct-taped them all together to make a good playpen.  You could also make your own from large boxes.  That worked well, but I now I simply have a "rat room" that is mainly empty but for rat toys and some furniture.  The electric outlets have been plugged and the electric wires covered or removed from reach.  We let our rats loose in this room while one of us sits on the floor and interacts with them...they live for their free play time!  And they can't escape because the door is shut.

Hopefully, you will be getting a 2nd rat soon so I'll address the cage situation.  You can get a larger cage yes, but if you want to save some money, here's an idea for you, which is what I've done.  I created a "Rat Penthouse".  Basically, I bought 2 cheap card tables from Walmart (you can just have 1 table if you don't have space), and created a border around the edges of the table from cheap 2-inch high plexiglass I had them cut to size at Home Depot, then I used strong duct tape to tape the plexiglass around the edges of the table.  I place the cage on the table(s) and leave the cage door open at all times so my rats can come in and out as they please.  Also on the tables is a wheel, tunnels, igloos, and other things to keep them busy.  Since a good cage can run you over $100, this is a cheaper solution and will give your rats a little more room to roam when you can't let them run loose.  I'm attaching a photo of my own penthouse so you can get an idea.  And don't worry, rats are smart enough to know that it is way too high for them to jump. The border just prevents an accidental slip off the edge.  

Finally, you say the other rats in the pet store were bullying your rat.  Well, I'd bet that if you brought one of the so-called "bullys" home, in time, the 2 boys would eventually become buddies because all they'd have is each other.  One would of course become the "alpha" or dominant one, after some fighting for this dominance, but that is normal.  BUT...why don't you try a different pet store?  In fact, when you have a mature male rat at home, it is safer to bring home a very young baby boy rat.  Putting 2 mature males together that don't know each other is a good chance for trouble...they smell each other's male hormones.  If it were me, I'd try bringing home a baby boy.

Okay...that was a very long answer sorry.  But I wanted to make sure I covered everything.  But I'll be happy to answer any other questions to help you.  Hope everything turns out well and I'd love to hear about it :)