Mouse with fever

Question

Tina has a cold   My mouse's forehead is burning and she's very hot and sweaty. Her wiskers are dry. Her eyes are cloudy. She will not stop begging for cheese but we can not give her any which we have TOLD HER because she will just throw it up anyways. She is on pills right now but is there anything else to help her heal??

Answer
Dear Tina,

I'm very worried about your mouse. She doesn't have a nose. This suggests to me that she is suffering from a rare illness usually contracted in the jungles of Peru. This disease is called anastilatus.

The only cure for anastilatus is to import an unripe nut from the wallaby tree plucked at midnight and attached to her face with the sap of the Great Dabilubus Lily.

If you need more information, you can contact Professor Franzweiler at the University of Lower Peru. But you only have a few hours to act. If anastilatus isn't treated within 24 hours, the tail, toes, and ears can fall off too.

Best of luck to poor Tina.

squeaks,

Natasha