Puppy playfully chases and nips at legs of other dogs

Question
I have a 9 month old Australian labradoodle who is very shy in nature and
very hesitant around people but not dogs.  I got him at 4 months and the first
dog he played with was a neighbor dog who was much more assertive.  She
chased my dog across the park and under my legs barking and nipping at my
puppy's legs to pull him down and force him to chase and play.  My puppy
learned to bark back and as he grew learned to run full force at the side of,
and also nip and tug at the heels and feet of, any other dog he now plays with
off leash.   This behavior doesn't look like balanced play to me or to others.  
It's obvious now my dog has learned very bad play manners!   

How can I work with my dog to "unlearn" this bad social behavior?  The dog
who taught him this behavior is working with a trainer and they keep a haltie
on her which helps to prevent the nipping.  Do I have to do this also?  Should I
not let my dog play off leash anymore?  He's never been to a dog park and I
worry his bad behavior will get him and me in trouble.   How do I find a way
to socialize him with better balanced dogs?

Thank you!

Answer
Hi, Anne,

Thanks for the question. Sorry it took so long to get back to you.

From my perspective what your dog is doing is attempting to engage in normal play, but it's gotten amped up a little beyond the normal doggie rules and protocols. That's not something he can "unlearn" through behavior modification or emotionally debilitating training devices like head collars (dogs HATE them). He can only learn to behave properly when he feels more confident that he won't be knocked around by other dogs the way he did when he was a puppy. His shyness around people is evidence that he's got a kind of nervous temperament. He exhibits that most clearly around people, but when it comes to play time, his social attraction to the other dogs is so strong that he really wants to play with them, but his nervousness is such that he almost becomes a "bully." And there's an old saying about bullies, that they act the way they do because they're scared of being taken advantage of themselves.

I hope I have the right picture of your doggie.

Here's what I'd do. First of all I'd feed him all his meals outdoors using a pushing exercise, where you hold the food in one hand and put the other hand against his chest. As he eats you slowly pull the food hand away, ever so slightly, so he has to push into in order to eat. Over time you want him to be able to push into you so hard that he practically knocks you over.

Here's a description: http://tinyurl.com/3balu6

The reason this will help is that for dogs play is mostly a matter of enjoying the feeling of resistance that the other dog gives back. They like knocking into each other, wrestling, and playing chase. The reason your dog had a bad experience as a puppy was that the other dog was giving him more resistance than he could handle at that age--a LOT more. And he still hasn't learned how to handle resistance well. The pushing exercise will give him more and more experience at being able to handle and overcome the nervousness that comes over him whenever life, other dogs, being around people, gives him strong feelings of resistance.

If you're having trouble understanding what I mean, think of your dog's daily life as a swim in a river. Only instead of swimming in water, he's swimming in emotional waters. Each time he gets thrown off balance by someone with more energy than he can handle, it's like the river has come to a narrow point where the emotional waters are rushing harder and faster; tall, strange people (they're all tall to him) and other dogs have more energy than he does, which causes more feelings of resistance than he feels equipped to handle. So he goes overboard in how he plays. Does this make sense to you?

Another great way to teach a dog how to overcome nervous tension is to play tug-of-war outdoors, always let him win, and praise him for winning. Tug is a fun game for dogs because of the resistance involved. And if you always let him win he'll feel that coming up against resistance in other areas of his life will be more like a fun, playful for him challenge instead of something to be nervous about.

Here's another link: http://www.tiny.cc/tug

Finally, one of the best thing you can do for your dog is praise him whenever he's feeling nervous. And I don't mean you should praise and PET him. Praise will reduce his nervous tension, petting him will only increase it. There's one exception: if you sense that your words of praise aren't having an effect, you can stroke him three times, very firmly, straight from the back of his neck to his tailbone. Think of it as a way of sweeping the nervous tension out of his spine and into his tail. You'll know if you've done this effectively when he suddenly yawns after you've stroked him like this. That yawn indicates a release of excess nervous energy.

Here's a link explaining why praise reduces nervous tension: http://www.tiny.cc/praisetocorrect   

I hope this helps. And sorry again for the delay.

LCK