Labradors

Question
QUESTION: I actually have a few questions about my two labradors.  My older lab is named Happy.  He's actually a lab/golden retriever mix that I found in a rescue shelter.  He had been severely abused and mistreated before he came to live with us.  Though when I found him he was wagging his tail estatically in the kennel.  I figured any dog who went through what he did deserved the name Happy.  He's nuetered and between 5-6 years of age (the shelter wasn't sure) though he may be slightly younger because he's a chewer the vet told me that his teeth may appear older than what they actually are.  Our only problem with Happy is that he has gotten very docile around our other lab Lucky.
  We got Lucky for my autistic son a little over two years ago who is eight, they even have the same birthday!  When we moved into our new house last year Lucky became aggressive towards any strangers.  She would play and frolic with strange dogs, which Happy would not, but if anybody even walks by our house she turns from a very sweet dog into Kujo.  She doesn't go to bite anyone but she will bark very loudly and mean like.  She use to chase people but thankfully she has toned that down.  She especially does not like men, she is more aggressive and will shy away from almost any of our male friends.  
  Before the move Happy was the lead dog of the two and now Lucky seems to call the shots.  She is suppose to be my sons' dog and when she's with him she works wonders keeping him calm and following him around the yard to make sure he doesn't wonder, the problem is that she has become extremely clingy to me.  She is always under my feet or in my lap if I'm on the couch or bed.  If I go to the bathroom if she doesn't get in before I close the door she sits and whines excessively at the door until I come back out.  When we have friends over, one of my fiance's friends is scared of dogs so we put a baby gate up to keep the dogs out of the living room.  She will whine and cry and bark almost the whole time.  I have given her kongs and other treats to keep her occupied but as soon as she is done with them she begins to whine and cry and bark!  She is constantly jumping in bed to sleep with me.  I will tell her to get down and she will until I fall asleep and then I wake up to her sleeping on my legs.  At 80lbs it's a bit uncomfortable to have her on just my legs.  
  If anybody else gets attention be it Happy or one of the cats she is right there shoving her nose in and whining.  She will actually play nip at Happy if I'm showing him any attention.  We call her Diva at times because she acts like she must be the center of the world.  I am always telling Happy to stick up for himself, but he just plops along and lays down away from her.  They are the best of friends until  I'm giving Happy attention and Lucky has a fit about that.  
 I've tried ignoring her but then she just goes and whines at my fiance and he hollers and I have to call her over to me so she'll leave him alone.

  How can I stop her behavior?  I want her to be around my son most of the time, I'd prefer her to sleep with him!  I think he wants that bond I have with her and Happy, but he's just given up.  I'm a stay at home mom, so I'm sure it started because I was home most of the time while he was at school and my fiance' was at work.

Help me out please!!

ANSWER: Hi, Brandie,

Thanks for the question. You really have your hands full.

First of all, Lucky is behaving as she does because of inner anxiety. I'm not sure how it started, but it's definitely there. It sounds like Happy would be the one to be more anxious, due to his past history (you didn't give me a history of Lucky), but the barking at strangers, the needing to call the shots with Happy, the velcro behavior with you, the need to be the center of attention, they all come from one source: "I'm anxious and under pressure because I don't know what to do with my energy!"

So here's the plan:

#1 - Feed Her All Her Meals Outdoors, Using a Pushing Exercise

You put one hand, palm up, against her chest, then put the other hand (full of food) under her nose, and start feeding her. As she eats keep the first hand steady against her chest but pull the food hand away ever-so slightly. This will cause her to feel pressure against her chest, and may cause her to stop eating. If so, just put the food back under her nose, wait a while and start moving it away again just enough so there's a tiny bit of pressure. As she gets used to the pressure against her chest while she's eating you can start pulling your food hand away a little more at each ensuing meal. You want to build to the point that she's pushing as hard as she can into your other hand and is up on her back legs. (You'll have to brace yourself at this point.) Here are some links with more details, but the basic idea is to get her to feel comfortable with feelings of pressure that are now causing her "mis"behaviors:

http://tinyurl.com/3balu6 (pushing exercise, as described by Neil Sattin)

http://www.tiny.cc/SwimUpstream

#2 - Play Tug-of-War with Her Outdoors

Always let her win and praise her for winning. And always quit before she gets tired or bored with the game. Another link: http://www.tiny.cc/tug (tug, also by Neil Sattin)

#3 - Keep Her Crated When She's Indoors, Especially Overnight

She needs a den of her own. Being on patrol, all the time, throughout the entire house and yard, is too much responsibility for her. Let her use her energy more wisely, i.e., watching out for your son when he's outdoors, and playing fetch and tug with you when she needs exercise.
Another link: http://www.tiny.cc/CrateTraining

#4 - Ignore Her When She Pesters You for Attention

Just turn your back, don't look at her, don't speak to her. You may have to do this repeatedly until she gives up and goes and grabs a bone or a toy. Then praise her. (Make sure she has lots of bones and toys available.)

#5 - Don't Scold or Punish Her for Anything

When she barks at strangers, eg., always praise her. It'll calm her down quicker. Another link: http://www.tiny.cc/praisetocorrect (using praise as a correction)

You can also hand feed Happy if you like. It'll probably help him immensely as well. You should see some positive results within just a few days, or you'll at least see SOME changes in her behavior (and his too, if you do it with him). But keep going until she's pushing you so hard you're worried that you'll need a chiropractor. Once you get to that point, she may settle down a lot more easily than she does now.

Feel free to contact me again if you have any questions or problems.

LCK

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: Thanks so much for replying so quickly!!  Just a few quick questions.

 Oh firstly we got Lucky as an 8wk old puppy from a breeder, so she's been with us pretty much from the beginning, she'll be three in september.

Should I crate her most of the day and where should I crate her at during the day?  Where she can see me?  

Happy doesn't have to be crated does he?  

I was thinking of crating her in our bedroom at night at first and once she was use to that moving the crate into my son's bedroom.

Usually when I ignore her she will go and get one of her toys, but brings it and plops it in my lap repeatedly until I throw it for her.  She absolutely loves fetch.  I have never been able to get her to play tug of war with me.  She will play it with Happy a lot, but she would much rather have me throw the toy and she retrieve it.

Also it's pouring today outside....can I try the pushing exercise inside? lol

Answer
Hi again.

I'd crate her overnight in the bedroom for starters. Make it as easy a transition for her as possible. I think the crating article I gave you covers a lot of the bases. The only other thing I'd add is that light blue is a calming color, so make sure her bed is light blue, and if you use a metal crate, cover most of it (except the front) with a light blue sheet.

Happy doesn't have to be crated.

As for ignoring her you're doing the first step, now you just have to take it further: wait until she stops pestering you to play with her, and learns how to download her tension on her own (which is the critical issue for this particular behavior, and also for the crating). Once she settles in to chew the toy on her own, then you can praise her.

Another rule: NO PLAYING IN THE HOUSE. Yes, it's a mess to play in the rain, but it's better than repeating these behavioral patterns that are causing so much trouble.

You don't HAVE to feed her outdoors if the weather is really, REALLY bad. But it's always better to do the exercise outdoors, than in. After a few days or a few weeks of hand feeding her she may be more open to playing tug with you than she is now. If not, do this: at a time when she's really in the mood to play fetch, tease her with a tug toy (an old bandanna is best) and get her to chase you. If she chases you, zig, zag, stop and start, fake left and go right, etc. Make it harder for her to catch you. Once she does she'll want to bite the toy. (In the wild, chasing a prey animal always leads to biting, or at least it increases the need and desire to bite.)

Best of luck,

LCK