Shyness, Fearfulness, Socialization Issues

Question
Hi Anne,

We have a few questions regarding our dog, Tuula, an approximately 2 yr. old supposed Carolina Dog.  We adopted her from a shelter a year and a half ago and we were only told that she had been found in an abandoned house in a rural area with several other dogs.  Among those dogs was her brother or male relative who was in the crate with Tuula at the shelter and who was much more, well, normal.  He was happy to see people, trusting, friendly, and interested in life, not to mention much larger than Tuula.  At the shelter, she could not have been more unadoptable.  She was completely disinterested in people and hid behind her large brother, cowering and facing the corner.  I fell in love immediately and asked the staff if I could take her outside for a walk, not realizing how traumatized she actually was.  She froze completely, and was stiff and shaking as I slipped the leash around her neck, but for such and intensely horrified dog, she never showed ANY aggression, even cornered.  She was unable to walk in her condition so I carried her stiff, trembling body outside.  I thought the fresh air would liven her up, but to no avail.  She just sat as far away from me as possible, in a corner, shaking.  We decided to adopt her.  
She has made great progress since then, she is sweet, loves the outdoors, has a voracious apatite and, in her own way, loves us.  But she is by no means "normal" and we fear that her many qualms prevent her from living her most fulfilling life.  Mostly, she is very cautious.  This makes her very obedient and submissive and she really does nothing wrong but she seems like she is constantly worried that she is.  We don't yell at her nor strike her but she seems to always be expecting it.  It is hard to walk towards her, even in a friendly manner, without her retreating, sometimes even with tail wagging.  At home, she rarely plays and feels compelled to stay on her bed, even though she is allowed to go everywhere and explore freely.  She is happiest when she is outside and seems to forget her anxieties though most things spook her, especially any loud noises, unusual objects, and children.  We have also tried, from very early on, to take her to dog parks so she could "play" with other dogs.  Evidently, Tuula does not know how to play with others well.  Early on, she often got bullied and chased by bolder dogs, but by now she has learned that all it takes to discourage most dogs is raising her formidable guard hairs and baring her teeth, at most doing a bluff lunge.  Very rarely, she finds a very passive, typically old or otherwise slightly dumb dog that she does not feel threatened by and enjoys chasing.  
  Now that you know her life history (haha), we would like to know if you have any suggestions.  We would like her to feel safe and fearless in our home, we would like for her to enjoying cuddling with us and being very close to us, and to feel more confident in herself.  We would like to adopt another dog, for us and perhaps to help Tuula learn how to be more "normal" and would like advice on what sort of dog this should be (an nonthreatening though perhaps irritating young dog or a mellow old dog - we are young, active outdoor adventurers and would prefer a physically capable dog).  Really, any advice would be appreciated, and we apologize for being so long winded!

Thank you in advance,
Alex and Patrick

Answer
Unfortunately, dogs' optimal socialization period, or the time when you would want to expose them to anything they should tolerate as adults, is between ages 8-12 weeks, 16 weeks at the outside.  A dog that was not adequately socialized, especially one that is naturally submissive or shy, may always have that quality about them, although you can make life easier for such dogs.  My advice is to purchase two books:
"Help for your Shy Dog" by Deborah Wood
"The Cautious Canine" by Patricia McConnell
In them you will find some great suggestions for working with dogs that are anxious or fearful.  I would not let her continue to feel threatened at the dog park. If she likes smaller groups, you might want to try a meetup, or even a small get together at a local training facility, where there are play groups.  Even dog day care, where she can be separated into a group of dogs with similar play styles to hers, and where she won't feel so defensive (that behavior can escalate - not what you want).  Even if she never gets "more normal", you have given her a great home, and might even be able to get another dog to keep all of you company.  I would opt for a relatively submissive male, but one who is socially well adjusted.  If you want to adopt from a shelter, get a trainer or behaviorist to help you choose the right dog this time so as not to end up with something that will make Tuula even more scared.  You were lucky this time - often it is the shy dogs that end up being fear biters.  Tuula may be socially retarded, but at least she is not aggressive, and that's a wonderful thing.