keep on jumping on table and eat our food

Question
HI, my name is Zdenka,
and I have a miniature schnauzer who just turned 4 years.It's a female. Her name is Patia. I have big problem with her. She is enormous eater. She would eat , after being full she would vomit and that eat again eat vomit.....
I am giving her only her dry food she grew up on and I am giving her dinner our table food, chicken, rice, beef, pork bread, just a little portion, i would not give her nothing but she is always waiting giving me looks, and waiting for an hours to give her table food.
The problem is if i leave anything on the table in she gets the moment when i don't look, (because she knows she gets in trouble when i see her jump up on the table and eat our food)she jimps up and literally sweeps everything from the table within a seconds. I do punish her slapping with newspapers on her bum, i yell at her or i don;t let her sleep with me in my bed for couple of days, when she comes i raise my voice and tell her no!!!! go somewhere else you ate my food this is your punishment.
Nothings helps, i do not want to be slapping her all the time, but she always does it, before i leave for work, i show her piece of bread on the table and tell her do not eat it, or i raise my voice to tell her. Nothings never helps, and i am really desperate, i don't know what to do because she always gets in that table AND EAT IT. When i get home from workand she doesn't come up to me i know something is wrong and she knows that too, that's why she is in hiding. Please tell me or give me and advice cos i do not know what to do...... Thank you Zdenka
l.bystrouska@seznam.cz

Answer
First, you need to stop slapping the dog.  That doesn't teach her a thing, except that you are very unpleasant.  Even if it did teach her to stay off the table, it would only do so while you where there, not when you are absent from the room. Instead, try getting an x-mat.  This is a plastic mat that has points on it which make the dog uncomfortable when she goes on the table:
http://www.amazon.com/X-Mat-Extra-Pet-Training-Mat/dp/B00074W39U
It doesn't zap the dog, just makes them think the table is "icky" and they don't like the feel of it underfoot.
Also, stop leaving food on the table while the dog is loose in the house!  Try crate training her instead.  Dogs can be perfectly happy in a crate for short periods of time, because you can train them to think of the crate the same way they would a den.
Read this: http://www.hollysden.com/crate_training1.htm
The reason your dog doesn't come to you is that she fears you, not that she knows she has done something wrong.  I don't blame her, frankly, and I never advise my students to use physical punishment with dogs.  
You do not have to give in just because your dog whines and wants table food.  In my house, dogs that whine simply get ignored.  Eventually, they stop because whining never gets them anything.  Instead, I train my dogs so that I can ask them to exhibit a certain behavior to "ask" for what they want.  It's called NILIF:
http://www.westwinddogtraining.com/NILIF.pdf
If you continue to think of punishing instead of training, your dog will not understand, and you will create misery for her.  In my opinion, she'd be better off in a home that understands dogs, so if you love her, it's time to become better educated.  On my recommended reading list for you:
"The Culture Clash" by Jean Donaldson
"The Power of Positive Dog Training" by Pat Miller


What you thought was incorrect - you should NEVER slap a dog or hit him with a newspaper, and, frankly, I resent you giving me a low score for telling you the truth about that.  That doesn't reflect a lack of knowledge on my part, but it does on yours, and while I'm sorry that you were offended, I hope you are now better educated.