radical change of behaviour after spaying

Question
QUESTION: not sure  what to think.  we have two cats, both 'found' us.  the older one, Sasha approx 2 1/2 yrs old found my girlfriend at about age 8-10 weeks.  she became a remarkably loving and laid back cat.  around this past thanksgiving, Samantha Jane (Sammers affectionately) found me - coming from a neighbor who had found her but said she was a hellcat.  Sammers immediately lept into my arms purring loudly and happy to have my affection.  We are a household of five humans - and i was the only one Sam bonded to, but she loved me dearly following me around and grooming me, etc.  We were led to believe she was about ten weeks old when we got her.  Vet is not so sure, probably older but was malnourished.   this seemed confirmed when she went into heat the first time around christmas.  
anyways, sasha hissed at sam for a couple hours at their first meeting, and within six hours they played together well.  within three days you would have thought they'd known each other years.  we thought sammers may have been abused because she recoiled from humans at first, especially female humans.  but, she slowly opened up to my girlfriend, and eventually the kids.  at the beginning of february we could stand letting her go in heat anymore and got her spayed.  now at first she was kind of a loner after the surgery, we expected that.  however, she not only didnt bounce back, she pulled a 180 on her personality.  its now two months later, and our very vocal (she had the greatest chirrup you've ever hear) wont say a thing, wont be petted and wont play with sasha anymore.  it wasnt a sudden change, but a slow one day by day.  she has been back to see the vet, who doesnt see any medical issues.  sasha has since become very needy as sammers wont play anymore.  at least not kitty play.  she still plays with the feathered toy attached to yarn  that i dance around for her, and is all to happy to do so, but as of just a couple of nights ago, doesnt sleep in bed with us anymore.  these past few nights she seeks out an empty room to sleep.

i am dismayed and oh so sad, any ideas?

thanks.

ANSWER: Jes,

It sounds like she has 'kitty depression'. I would ask the vet if she Was she pregnant when she was spayed. That can happen to very emotionally maternal cats. They KNOW they lost their babies and are sad. On average, the healing process takes between two weeks and six months. During this time, a grieving cat will need reassurance and attention. This doesn't mean forcing attention on a withdrawn cat, but it does mean little things such as offering food treats, catnip or new toys to draw a withdrawn cat out of its shell. Also give her lots of love and reassurance. Maybe you might want to take her to a different vet for a 'second opinion' to make sure it is not a medical issue.

Pet laser lights are good at getting a cat to be interactive. You can get them at PetSmart, etc. Cats love to chase the 'little red bug' on floors, walls, and ceilings. That may help her mood.

You can try a very popular cat calming spray and plug-in called Feliway or Comfort Zone with Feliway. It is available at pet stores like Petco/Petsmart, a vet's office, or on-line. It copies relaxing pheromones that cats produce from rubbing their faces on things and helps soothe them.

There is another cat calming product that you can add to her food that reduces anxiety called Bach's Rescue Remedy. It is available on-line and in health food stores. Here is a link about it: (copy and paste, or type the whole links into your address bar)
http://www.bachflower.com/Pets.htm.

I would also ask the vet about a temporary prescription for 'kitty Prozac'. It is a very popular cat calming medication for emotional problems. Usually a 2-week dose works well. Sometimes a cat will need it long term but that is rare.

You can Google 'cat depression' for more info.

I hope this helped.
Tabbi

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: well, i dont know what to think or do anymore.  we got lasers, which both cats love, but sasha more than sam, we tried the kitty calming stuff, all manner of interactive toys, even got kitty collars and leashes to take them out side and snoop around.

sammers just doesnt like to be touched by humans anymore.  she no longer cuddles or likes to be petted.  she wont play with humans, only the laser and a toy with feathers attached to a piece of yarn so i can toss it around and she chases it.

so she never came around.  but whats worse is lately she no longer wants to be in the house (which is strange because we had to abandon the taking them outside business as they both got scared the minute you walked outside with them).  she waits until someone steps outside and she bolts out.  she wont stop when you call her, and the only way she comes back is if you happen to catch her.  she is doing it more and more, and has taken to crying all night now too.

i dont know what to do anymore.  she isnt a bad cat, not by any means, she is just totally indifferent to us and tries everything she can to get out.  but since we had her declawed (and the are a great many stray cats around here) i am afraid she cant defend herself out there and get nervous everyime she bolts.

aside from the obvious discomfort for her when she was in heat, i almost wish we had never gotten her spayed.  my loving and affectionate sammers is gone, replaced by an indifferent escape artist.

what can i do?

Answer
Jes,

Never regret getting her spayed! That is the best thing you can do for her. You mentioned you got her declawed. Did her behavior happen since then? Declawing can cause many many problems, now and in the future. Trim claws, never declaw!

The cat may have had a traumatic experience when she was at the vet's getting spayed.

Cats are like people, they can have emotional and mental problems too. It may just have been a coincidence that her behavior started when you had her spayed, or it set off a chain reaction of emotions that would have happened anyway. Did you talk to the vet about some "kitty Prozac"? It is very commonly used for stress and emotional problems.

Hopefully she will get over it and this behavior is something that will stop after a period of time.  Let her do whatever gives her peace and gives her a little happiness. Forcing her to be where she doesn't want to be will only stress her and make her more unhappy.
Just keep giving her lots of love, reassurance, and kitty treats.

Tabbi