cat behavior problems

Question
Hi Jessica, thanks for your time. I currently own three cats, one male who is nearly 11 years old, and two females who are 4 and 3 years old. They have all been neutered/spayed and were adopted from different animal shelters (except one who was feral) at different times. My problem is that my youngest female cat (3 yrs.) does not get along at all with my other two cats.
I first adopted my cat Tom (11 yr. male) with his brother Tim from an animal shelter. They got along very well, and were both very healthy. They were also indoors, but went outdoors frequently during the day. However, 4 years ago, Tim left the house and never came back. It was very sad, but we knew Tom felt lonely after having a brother by his side for 6 years.
About a year or so later, I decided to adopt Chiko (4 yr. old female) from the local Humane Society. When she was adopted, she was almost one years old, and had lived with her mother in a foster home. When we brought Chiko home, she and Tom didn't get along too well at first, but got along very well after a few months. We were all content, and so I was not expecting another cat for quite a while.
Around one or two years later, my husband's colleague sent out an email saying that they had found litter of kittens under their deck that had been abandoned. They had already been taken to the vet for immunizations, and were spayed/neutered. We decided to adopt one because they would have to be transferred to an animal shelter (the colleague's wife has cat allergies). My husband brought home Tara (3 yr. female). Tom and Chiko reacted as I suspect most cats do, and they hissed and avoided her as much as possible. After a few weeks, the three cats seemed to get along more, except Tara would not let either of the cats groom her. She would attack them whenever they tried to lick her. This caused tensions between the cats, but nothing too major.
Last year, we left the cats at home with a cat sitter coming in every few hours to feed/play with them. We left for about a week as we do every winter and summer. This was Tara's second time staying at home with the cats. When we came home, Tara seemed to be very scared of everything. She would attack slippers and other things that seemed intimidating to her. This died down after a few months, but she would never seem to get along with the other two cats. In these cold months, Tom and Chiko can always be found sleeping together, but they never include Tara. Tara will always fight them, and the other cats have now learned to attack her. Is there a way to help bring them together? Thanks!  

Answer
Hi Emily.  I would recommend that you use some products formulated to reduce anxiety, as it sounds like Tara is very prone to this.  A product I use and recommend is Feliway, which uses simulated facial pheromones to help promote a feeling of calm in the household.  I use the plug-in diffusers for ease of use.  You can learn more about how the product works at www.feliway.com.

You might also want to try treating Tara with some flower essences to calm her, but be very careful about how you go about this.  Pure essential oils, such as lavender, can be toxic and should never be used directly on the cat.  Also, some product contain alcohol, which cats are highly sensitive to, and these products should be diluted.  The line I strongly recommend is Spirit Essences (www.spiritessences.com).  These are all 100% safe to give orally or use directly on the skin, and they were formulated by a well-respected holistic veterinarian and an animal behaviorist.  As Tara seems to be the main aggressor, she may benefit from their Bully Remedy.  However, since she clearly has some deep fear at the root of the behavioral issue, I'm not certain that would be the absolute best choice.  I would send an email asking which formula is right for your situation.  Dr. Hofve has always gotten back to me personally and has been very helpful.  Your other two cats may also benefit from some essences since the aggression has spread at this point.

If the problem is severe, you should separate the kitties for a while and work toward reintroducing them slowly, hopefully on a positive note with the help of Feliway and the flower essences.  A separation of a week or two should do the trick.  See if feeding them some nice canned food, fed several feet apart at the same time, will help them form some positive memories with each other.

In the worst cases of aggression, an antidepressant is very often helpful.  It's always a last resort, but it's certainly better than living in misery.  And most cats only need treatment temporarily.  I've had a few cats who have had to take an antidepressant for one reason or another, and none have needed them for longer than 6 months.  There are a number to choose from, and one called Clomicalm is gaining popularity for treating anxiety that causes aggression in kitties.

I hope all goes well!

Jessica