pet loss

Question
i have just lost my cat after she was cruelly run over, she was sister to my male cat and they were bought up together at the age of 6 weeks when i had them. I am worried if her is pining for her as he keeps looking around i think for her. I dont know wat i can do to help him, he is still eating, but i dont know wat the best things to do for him. I dont want to get another cat incase this just upsets him more, other than filling the gap shes left.
please help

Answer
Debbie,

I'm so very sorry to hear about the sudden loss of your precious girl, my heart breaks for you and her brother. Grieving the loss of companion pets is a completely normal thing for cats to go through, there's not really much you can do beyond comfort this little man, spoil him a bit more than usual and above all simply love him. His heart (and yours) will hurt less in time. If you'd like to get another cat I'd wait until you and your little man are hurting less and the grief is less acute, but remember that no other cat will replace the little girl you lost - she was unique and precious. A new cat will be just that, a new family member and my advice would be to wait awhile before you spring that on your little boy. If you find that your kitty becomes really depressed to the point where he stops eating then my recommendation would be to consider making use of Bach flower remedies like Elm and Rescue Remedy. I don't recommend administering these remedies orally to cats except in cases of emergency because the flower essences are preserved in grape alcohol and cats really don't like the smell or taste, instead I'd suggest gently rubbing 2-4 drops of each remedy into the outside of one of your cat's ear flaps, he'll still get the benefit without the insult of having alcohol near his nose or mouth. I've taken the liberty of including a few pieces of writing that have helped me during times when I've been grieving the loss of much loved pets, I hope they help.

The Rainbow Bridge

Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.

When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge.
There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together.
There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.

All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor; those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by.
The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.

They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent; His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.

You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.

Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....

Author unknown...

Fragile Circle


"We who choose to surround ourselves with lives even more temporary than our own, live within a fragile circle, easily and often breached. Unable to accept its awful gaps, we still would live no other way. We cherish memory as the only certain immortality, never fully understanding the necessary plan."

Irving Townsend


May your whiskers be ruffled by only pleasant breezes,
May your bowls be filled with tuna and sweet cream,
May your dreams be blessed with legions of mice,
And most of all,
May you forever purr in peace.
Amen


WITH ANGELS THEY PLAY

They haven't really been taken away.
They have only gone with the Angels to play.
They have been given wings with which to fly.
All their troubles have passed them by.
Their life in heaven now must start.
But we'll hold their memory in our hearts.
Nothing about them will be forgotten.
But now they sleep on billowy clouds of cotton.

Author Unknown


THE ROSE BEYOND THE WALL

A rose once grew where all could see
sheltered beside a garden wall
And as the days passed swiftly by,
it spread its branches, straight and tall.

One day, a beam of light shone through
a crevice that had opened wide
The rose bent gently toward its warmth
then passed beyond to the other side...

Now, you who deeply feel its loss,
be comforted the rose blooms there
Its beauty even greater now,
nurtured by God's own loving care.

Author Unknown


I just wanted to let you know that I made it home.
The journey wasn't an easy one, but it didn't take too long.

Everything is so pretty here, so white, so fresh and new
I wish that you could close your eyes and that you could see it too.

Please try not to be sad for me.
Try to understand God is taking care of me...
I'm in the shelter of His hands.

Here there is no sadness, no sorrow, and no pain.
Here there is no crying and I'll never hurt again.

Here it is so peaceful when all the angels sing.
I really have to go for now... I've just got to try my wings.

Author Unknown


When you are sad,
I will dry your tears.
When you are scared,
I will comfort your fears.
When you are worried,
I will give you hope.
When you are confused,
I will help you cope.
And when you are lost,
and can't see the light.
I will be your beacon
shining ever so bright.
This is my oath.
I pledge to the end.
Why, you may ask?
Because you're my friend.

Author Unknown


POEM FOR CATS

And God asked the feline spirit
Are you ready to come home?
Oh, yes, quite so, replied the precious soul
And, as a cat, you know I am most able
To decide anything for myself.

Are you coming then? asked God.
Soon, replied the whiskered angel
But I must come slowly
For my human friends are troubled
For you see, they need me, quite certainly.

But don't they understand? asked God
That you'll never leave them?
That your souls are intertwined. For all eternity?
That nothing is created or destroyed?
It just is....forever and ever and ever.

Eventually they will understand,
Replied the glorious cat
For I will whisper into their hearts
That I am always with them
I just am....forever and ever and ever.

Author Unknown


TRIBUTE TO A BEST FRIEND

Sunlight streams through window pane
unto a spot on the floor....
then I remember,
it's where you used to lie, but now you are no more.
Our feet walk down a hall of carpet,
and muted echoes sound....
then I remember,
It's where your paws would joyously abound.
A voice is heard along the road,
and up beyond the hill,
then I remember it can't be yours....
your golden voice is still.
But I'll take that vacant spot of floor
and empty muted hall
and lay them with the absent voice
and unused dish along the wall.
I'll wrap these treasured memorials
in a blanket of my love
and keep them for my best friend
until we meet above.

Author Unknown

You and your little guy will be in my thoughts and prayers. Please don't hesitate to contact me again if you need an empathetic ear or a shoulder to cry on, I'm more than happy to help you and your other cat in any way that I can. If you have any further cat related questions or concerns, please don't hesitate to ask me.

Kind regards,

Ali