building trust with my horse

Question
I have a 7-8 year old Quarb mare. I love her to death but I'm not sure if she really trusts and loves me back. I wanted to do some exercises to build trust with her but I'm not sure what exercises to do. I've heard many that I can do but I wanted to hear it from an expert. I don't have a round pen to do the exercises in either. I was just wonderning if you have any ideas that could help me.Thanks for the help! :)

                        ~Hannah~

Answer
Hi Hannah!

You did not say how long you have owned your mare.  That is really important.  I tell all my new horse owners that it can take 12 to 18 months to build a "real" relationship with your new horse.  One filled with mutual respect and trust.  That is all horses know....respect and trust.  They do not feel hate or love, at least I don't think they do!  LOL!!

I guess if a human and his horse have been together for many years and have formed a real bond, you would see many instances that could be described as "love".

As for exercises....just spend time with her.  Pick a small treat, I like sugar cubes, and use them to strengthen your bond with her.  I know, I know.  Everyone says not to use food.  Well, you just use it in the beginning while at the same time you are using your voice and hands to reward her.  Then, you taper off on the treats and just use your voice.  Save the treats for especially good days or to introduce her to something new.

What she will value the most in you is consistency and thoughtfulness.  Don't change her schedule at a whim to fit yours and just expect her to do as you say because you want it.  Always reward for the same thing and always punish for the same thing.

Take the time to groom her well and be the person who does the "big" things in her life.  Feeding time, turning her out and bringing her in, tacking up and such.  She will start to know you and want to be around you....because good things happen when she is around you.  Nothing
can replace time and affection....no game that Pat Parelli invents....nothing.

So....be kind, be consistent and always have a sugar cube!

Good luck and remember to always wear an ASTM/SEI approved helmet!

Solange