Problem Ferret

Question
QUESTION: Hello.  I purchased a ferret a few weeks ago.  I am starting to regret that decision.  My ferret bites.  Hard.  Saying 'No', hissing, timeouts and scruffing does NOTHING.  Rewarding calm non-biting behavior DOES NOTHING.  Oh, and it isn't just the biting that is causing me distress.  She hates me.  She runs away from me when I let her out to run around.  She won't play with me or anyone.  She doesn't do anything a ferret is supposed to do.  She hasn't dooked or wardanced(<-- the happy one) or anything.  She just runs, hisses, and bites.  Just to be clear no, she isn't nipping because she wants to play, its like being stuck in a vice with super sharp teeth.  There is blood everywhere. My blood.  I have to wear welding gloves to attempt to pick her out of her cage.   She latches on and shakes her head for maximum blood spillage.  I was informed that... ferrets were playful... not vicious... and social... well mine is the freaking hannibal lector of ferrets and I am deeply regretting my decision of purchasing a/this ferret.  I have never hit her, yelled at her (unless it was a yelp of pain from losing 1/6 of my blood through my hand) or been agressive towards her.  Although.. I am now beginning to foster a deep resentment towards her.  I get so frustrated, angry and stressed out.  I just wrote my final exams for school without studying for them and this freaking ferret is stressing me 100x more (that was NOT an exaggeration).  Please help me, I have nowhere to turn.  The pet store guys are clueless, there isn't a shelter i can take her to and I can't return her to the store.  I can also assure you that nobody in my town will want her.  Please help me! Let me know what I am doing wrong!  And if it's not me then what the heck is wrong with my weasel!  I swear I'm rapidly developing a mental disorder from the stress )-;

ANSWER: Ferrets don't bite for no reason so in order to help you, I need a few more details.  Start by giving me a detailed description of your day/interactions with her.  Please be as specific as possible.  Also tell me: how often is she out of her cage, what size is her cage, what does she eat, when was her last vet visit, how old is she, what toys does she have in the cage and out of the cage, describe the room her cage is in and anything else you think important.
Thanks and I will get back with you as soon as I can after the questions are answered.

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: Okay.  Well first off I refill her food and water before I go to work.  I have to distract her with a glove on the other end of the cage so she doesn't bite me as I am doing so.  After I get home from work, when she wakes up (and after she poos) I go to let her out so she can run around.  Usually she jumps at my hand, does a hugging grip on the gloves I am wearing with her claws, latches on to my glove protected hand, and starts violently shaking her head.  I say NO, hiss and scruff, she struggles and usually gets back at my hand anyway, so I put her back in until I can get her out without her biting me, and give her a treat for not biting.  When I put her down, she quickly runs behind an obstacle to put it between her and me, and starts exploring as far from me as possible.  I offer her toy stuffed monkey to her, trying to entice her to play, but she just backs/runs away from me.  Several times I have locked us in my small bathroom in hopes to let her initiate contact with me, but it just ends in her approaching, and then latching on/shaking head.  I usually get frustrated at that point and put her back in her cage.  However, when she is running around outside of the bathroom I have to corner her to put her back because she won't come near me, and when I pick her up there is usually biting and/or/but-mostly-and  hissing.

She is out of her cage 2 to 3 times a day for approximately an hour each outing.

Her cage is 25" L x 17" W x 15" H.

She eats Living World Premium Ferret Food.

Her last Vet Visit was the end of March.

She is about 5 - 6 months old.

Her cage is in a corner of an L - shaped room.  If the room were an L then she would be on the bottom part of the L in the far left corner.  She is against 2 walls, and a sink and regrigerater are near by. (note - fridge is blocked off, don't worry)

Her toys are: A small stuffed monkey, a small tennis ball with a bell inside it, and a rubber squeak toy that came with the cage (it was a ferret starter kit)  I don't let her use the squeak toy though because it is very flimsy and I was worried she would shred it and eat the rubber.

If I attempt to make any contact with her (even giving her a treat) without wearing my gloves she takes the chance to bite me.  I tried having her on my lap a few times, with me calmly speaking to her, but she A: bit me repeatedly and B: Discovered she can crawl into my gloves and bite the soft skin within.

ALSO : I don't know what happened to this ferret to make it hate people so much, but I do know that when she ever bit anyone at the pet store they would flick her hard in the face and say NO.  I have never done that in an attempt to earn her trust but yeah... not workin so well.  I'd hate to have to make a big scene at the pet store so they will take her back (I think its against their polocy) and have her end up back there, but I can't deal with this much longer.

PS she also smells like butt but I am afraid to bath her just now, could I sprinkle some arm and hammer on her or is that harmful?

Answer
Great detail, thanks.  First off, I know for a fact that she is probably dealing with the flicking from the pet store which makes your job harder - possible, but harder.  She is probably very afraid of hands in general!  Patience and understanding will get you really far.  Start by offering her a treat from your ungloved hand BUT maybe from a spoon (something like Ferretone etc).  This will keep you safe and encourage her that something good comes from a hand.  Next, don't try to touch her or pick her up until she is tired out.  My first ferret and I used to go for long long walks before I would play with him!
Very glad that she has time out of the cage and you are aware of toy safety.  I would let her out of the cage and let her run around to let off steam without you interfering.  She probably thinks that she will never get out again (from her previous home or a long time at the pet store) so she probably thinks grab and run quick in case it doesn't happen again.  That will take time - as you know trust takes time.
The next advise I would offer is to get a bigger cage - that is fairly small and if she has been in something small her whole life she is probably both bored and protective as well as very confined.  Imagine living your life in your bathroom!  
Ferrets are very intelligent and get bored very easily.  Search for articles by Bob Church on-line regarding enrichment ideas.  He has some great ideas for ferrets in and out of their cage.  
Don't take it personally that when she is out of the cage she puts distance between you - that also stems from lack of trust and "Oh my god, she finally let me out of there" feelings.  Until she is a bit more trustworthy, I would use the gloves to get her back into the cage.  
Make sure she is on a good quality good (Totally Ferret or Natural Gold) to keep her healthy too.  Ferrets are naturally burrowing animals so make sure she has places to be out of the light - we use Rubbermaid storage tubs with old t-shirts inside and a hole cut out to let them in.  
As odd as this may sound, sometimes getting a second ferret will solve all of these problems.  Ferrets play really rough  with each other and she doesn't have that option so part of the biting (I am sure not all) may be an invite to play.  2 ferrets together will attach and run to instigate a chase!
My final advise for now is to get Ferrets for Dummies - it is a GREAT resource and you may think about a subscription to Ferrets magazine (Some of Bob Church's enrichment articles are currently in it and have been for the past few issues so if you could get some back issues that would be great too).
Please, she has had a rough past and it will take time and a patient person to work through this.  My worst biter took a while to completely trust, but now he is very sweet and completely trustworthy!

Just realized I didn't answer the bath question.  I would avoid that until you either have help or she is not biting!  There are some spray products to help you made for ferrets - try those.  Keep her bedding and litter box very clean to also help with the odor.