Can my dog be helped?

Question
My dog just turned 4 years old a few days ago.  He is a mixed medium sized dog of German Shepard and probably terrier.  For the first year and a half of his life, it was just me & him living in an large apartment.  He had his separation anxieties and tore up my belongings ie: favorite shoes and dug into the carpet near the door.  Psycho and I tried going to the dog park during his early years, but he was always too aggressive with other dogs at the park.  I decided to keep him away from the parks so he wouldn't cause any trouble.  He also left "messes" all throughout the apartment for me to clean up.  I determined this behavior to be normal ruining my favorite shoes because it had MY scent and he wanted to be close to me when I wasn't home.  As far as the digging into carpet, he was simply flustered. (separation anxiety)  As far as the "messes" go, I figured it to be part of his puppy life and he'd eventually break the habit. So then, I got him a crate.  It took him several months to see the crate as his dwelling.  I read that getting a crate helps them focus that as their special place, their nook.  Unfortunately, he would have accidents in his own crate. I never let him sit in his own feces, or urine.  It would be cleaned up immediately.  It's the act itself that surprised me because I read that MOST dogs do not have accidents in their own dwelling.  Then, I got with my fiance whom I'm with now, and there was tension between the two from the get-go.  The very first introduction between the two was horrible because my dog peed on his leg! (This action was to show dominance I'm sure)  Within time, they both get along to an extent.  Each dog "favors" a person and that happened to be me.  About 6 months after meeting my now fiance, we adopted another dog.  We did the adoption of another dog for a couple reasons.  My dog needed a buddy to play with, and I was convinced this would spruce up my dog's social skills. The larger dog is a Doberman.  The Doberman was only a tiny puppy at 8 weeks when we brought him home. My dog's behavior was not positive at first when we brought the puppy home, and each had to be constantly monitored.  When the Doberman grew to his full size, my dog understood that he was no longer the alpha dog.  The two get along fabulously byt he way.  They are best friends. Now, to lengthen my dog's lifespan and minimize his overall aggressiveness, I took my dog to the vet to get himneutured.  It was not too long before I saw results but they weren't the results I wanted.  He became skittish, scared, and a loner.  Then, a month ago, we were finally able to move into a house with double the square footage and a large backyard.  I thought this would make my dog happy, but it did the opposite.  He won't come out of his crate sometimes unless he has to go to the bathroom. I can't even coax him out of his crate with food nor treats.  I put some comfortable old pillows in his crate to make him more comfortable, but SOMETIMES he sleeps behind them.  AT TIMES, his tail is down or tucked underneath him. I try to get him all playful by tossing his favorite toys around and usually I'm successful.  On the negative side, he still has accidents TO THIS DAY in the household.  This bothers me alot.  Can this be fixed?  Is this a side effect from the neutering?  Whether he is excited, anxious, scared, etc, he ends up peeing on the floor.  I stopped yelling at him for doing those accidents a couple years ago because it just seems so hopeless.  Sometimes, he gets irritable and strange.  He has almost even bit me!  I am sometimes scared of my own dog and that just does not sit right with me.  I can not have children of my own unless I feel safe enough with my own dog!  Why does he still have accidents at age 4?  Will he ever adjust to the new house and actually be happy instead of being scared to death?  I do NOT need to know HOW or WHERE I "messed up".  Please leave opinions out of the matter.  Bottom line: I came on here to see if I can save my dog. I need to know if my dog can be helped with the issues that I am having with him. Thanks


Answer
Hi, Rose,

I sympathize with you and your situation.  I can understand how you must feel.  I do, however, think the situation is probably very complex and cannot be properly addressed  through email exchanges.  I believe you probably need to talk to a trainer who has experience in these types of situations.

If you send me your city, state and zip code, I will try to find some referrals for you.