new kitten vs. resident cat

Question
My husband and I recently got a new kitten - about three days ago. We have had our first cat since she was around 10 weeks old. She will be three this year. She has lived with other animals for about 6 months or so - not including her siblings as a kitten. She lived with a curious golden retriever and an older male cat. The first couple weeks or so weren't that great. Although, she wasn't separated from the animals. She was just thrown into the pit. After a while she became comfortable and at one point let the male cat clean her! With our new kitten, we let her see the baby after a few hours of being in different rooms and she frizzed and growled and started to walk towards her. I don't think she would so any serious harm, but we quickly put the kitten away. Now we just let them peek at each other through a crack in the door but Frankie (the resident cat) just growls. Sometimes she hisses when Layla (the kitten) meows through the door. We put treats near the door where Layla is and Frankie would eat them, but she would be growling as she chewed. It's hard because Layla's foster home had other animals and people so she isn't used to being alone so she cries. We don't want to go in there every time she meows but I don't want her to just cry. Layla has no problem with Frankie - she just wants to play. But Frankie isn't having it.  What should we do? Are we rushing things with the cats? Did we do damage from letting them see each other?


Answer
Meggie,

You need to go through an introduction process slowly and correctly. It takes about 2 weeks or more to do it right and effectively. You can't rush it or you will have behavior and personality problems that are going to be hard to correct.

When you get a new kitten it should be kept in one room with food, water, and litter for a few days. That gives it a chance to get to know you, gain confidence and trust, and get acclimated to having a new home. Then you let it explore the home gradually, one room at the time. It is too overwhelming to have a whole big house at one time to be in. Then as the kitten gets comfortable with the expanded area, let it go where it wants but still have the safety of it's 'safe' room to run back into. You should NOT add the introduction to the resident cat until the new kitten feels secure and comfortable with you and the new home. THEN you start the introduction process to the other family pets.

I am attaching some links on how to go about the introduction process:
(copy and paste, or type the whole links into your address bar)

http://www.messybeast.com/first-impressions.htm

http://www.littlebigcat.com/index.php?action=library&act=show&item=cattocatintro...

Your other cat won't 'kill' her but CAN hurt her accidently (trim Frankie's claws!). The major worry is that Frankie's actions towards Layla will traumatize the kitten and affect her personality and behavior, and it may stress Frankie causing behavior problems like peeing inappropriately, or being aggressive toward the kitten and you.

Hissing, growls, and slaps are normal 'kitty communication'. They are ways to warn each other, state who is 'boss', etc. They are not worrysome unless there are ears pinned back, major fur flying, or blood being shed.

Ideally you need to have 2 kittens when you have an older resident cat. The kittens can play with each other and not annoy the other cat by trying to play with her or cuddle with her. The kitten needs a friend to play with, cuddle with, and comfort her in this scary new world. Most older cats do not like kittens. Probably because of their smell and energy level and this is not fair to the kitten and it can be very stressful and frightening to her. Another kitten would be a comfort and security to Layla.

It will work out, though it will take time, love and patience.