What to do with our senior (& seemingly miserable) cat

Question
Hi Tabbi,

We have a 13 year old male cat named Jimi. He is fixed. He is an indoor cat. He is small, about 10 lbs. or so and grey tabby. We got him as a rescue (mama cat had 8 kittens and we fostered the mama and all of her kittens in our home). He was raised with our whippet-lab mix until 2006, when she passed away at 18 due to old age.

He's very cute. But that is the best of him. In the past couple of years, he has become miserable.
He refuses to go in his litter, instead going on our bed, couch, or other area. Yes, I clean his litter regularly; it doesn't seem to matter. I have even (gradually -- about two-four weeks of introduction) changed his litter thrice over the last three years, and it didn't improve anything.  
He attacks my arm, repeatedly. This is getting worse as time passes. Now he attacks once, goes away and then comes back 2-3 times for another attack. I have scars all over my arms.
I think he is also increasingly upset about being left home alone during the day, and when we go out of town. Our cat sitter says all he does is whine, hiss at her, poop and vomit when we are away.
He doesn't want to play anymore, even when we engage him with his favorite toys.
Recently, we rescued a medium sized dog, similar to the one he was raised with. He seems entertained by her and will play once in awhile, but it is short lived.
He whines all of the time.
I took him to the vet about a year ago, in hopes to find a solution, but he wouldn't let her near him, and acted like (as she said) a "feral cat" whenever she tried to approach.
She prescribed anti-depressants. He took one and zombied out for a day. Then he figured out all of my tricky attempts to hide the medication and refused the treats, special food, etc. that came along with medicine time. So I tried putting it in his regular food. He weeded out the portion of food that contained the medicine and rejected it.

My husband and I are at a loss. We have loved our kitty for so long, but we feel like he isn't happy, and his antics are making us very unhappy, we do not enjoy him and haven't for about a year now.

We are torn between putting him down - we have moral objections to this - but cannot think of another solution (yes we considered adoption, but he has disliked EVERY person to come into our home in the last 15 years, usually hissing at them, then hiding for the duration of their visit).  Do you have any ideas?

Please help!

Thank you

Answer
Lena,

No anti-depressants! Your kitty's behavior is age-related and to be expected. Your cat is approximately 68 years old and things will start giving out, including the possibility of the cat having arthritis and/or kitty Alzheimers which can cause them do some odd things. That may not be the reason for his behavior but it is a possibility. Don't get upset at him for getting old...he can't help it and it probably confuses him as much as it does you. Someday you may wish he were still here making a mess. And NO thought of adoption! At his age that would be the worst thing you can do for him mentally and emotionally! He needs YOU now and things that are familiar to him. Any changes in his routine or household at his age can cause behavior problems, health problems, and emotional issues, including severe depression and possibly the will to live.

My suggestion is to find a vet that is familiar with geriatric cats and their problems (not all vets are which can be detrimental to an elderly cat) and take him to get an 'older cat checkup'. All elderly cats need one about every 6 months to check the functions of their liver, kidneys, and thyroid, and have bloodwork. He may have arthritis and can be given pain relievers. Early detection of any 'old age' medical issues, and medication, can help make his senior years more comfortable.

He may have pain somewhere and the biting is a reaction to that. At his age the normal reasons for the biting behavior wouldn't apply, especially if it a new behavior. When you have elderly cats you sometimes need to make concessions to some behaviors because of their age. Keep a small towel, rag, etc. nearby so when he lays next to you you can put it on your arm to prevent the biting. Don't get mad at him. He won't understand and will be confused at what he is doing wrong.

A common reason for crying is that he could have gone deaf. Deaf cats rely on vibrations to know where everyone is and they cry if they don't feel any vibrations from anyone.

Diets also need to be changed as the cat ages. Their dietary needs are different and their teeth are different. I would speak to the vet about that also.

If the cat is avoiding the litter box that can signify pain, either from arthritis (which makes it hard to get in and out of the box...it may be helpful to have a 'puppy pee pad' for the cat next to the litterbox, or get a container, like plastic or foil, with very low sides on it), or an intestinal or kidney problem. Cats will associate pain with the litter box and go elsewhere.
I would also change vets, or get a second opinion. Your cats health and well-being may depend on it.

Being prepared and knowledgeable about elderly cats will make things easier for the cat and for you. I am including some very good links about elderly cats:
(Copy and paste, or type, the whole links into your address bar)

http://www.sniksnak.com/resources/geriatric.html

http://www.messybeast.com/towards-end.htm

http://www.2ndchance.info/oldcat.htm

http://www.wbvc.bc.ca/elderly.htm

If, or when, it comes to euthanasia it is NEVER an easy decision to make. I don't think there is a right or wrong choice. I have had to make that decision many times and I have gone both ways. I have gone with my head and with the veterinarian's opinion and put cat to sleep. Then after, I wondered that, if the cat had the will to live, then who am I to play God and decide who lives and who doesn't? And I questioned my decision for a long time. Other times, thinking with my heart, I didn't put a cat to sleep because I thought it would be better for the cat to be at home and I left it in God's hands and the willpower of the cat. BUT there is NOTHING worse than watching a cat die a slow, painful death that you think is NEVER going to come. And I again questioned my decision NOT to go with euthanasia.

You may want to take her to a vet that specializes in geriatric cat care and conditions....not all vets do. And it's especially important at her age that she go to a vet that knows what he/she is doing. The cat should have an "elderly cat exam" to check the function of her thyroid, kidneys, and liver, and also be checked for arthritis and/or pain. If you decide against euthanasia then she  can be given medication to make her comfortable thereby improving her quality of life.

If you make the decision to put him  down, you may want to give some thought to having a mobile vet come to your home. I think it is better for an animal to be euthanized at home where they are happy and comfortable instead of adding the stress of having to take the cat to a veterinarian's office where he will be scared and confused during his 'final moments'. Then add the trauma emotionally to you to have to come home with an empty carrier to an empty silent home.

If you do need to put poor kitty to sleep at some point (I hope not anytime soon!) here is an EXCELLENT site for emotional support:
http://rainbowsbridge.com/hello.htm

If you put your cat to sleep, or if he passes on her own, go somewhere quiet and peaceful (a park, the mountains, the country, etc.) and grieve for the the cat....and send him on her way. Then keep busy...don't dwell on her death...it's over and NOTHING can change that. He will be pain free and happy. It does get easier in time, but it is like losing a beloved human family member and best friend. Many people have argued that comment and said it is NOT like losing a family member, that it is just an animal. I disagree with them. My cats are "furmans"...little creatures with fur who THINK they are human.

I hope this information helps. Your cat is a VERY lucky kitty to have a caring owner and a good home, and most important...he KNOWS he is loved.

Tabbi