problems feeding two cats

Question
Hello -

I have two 2-year-old cats, brother and sister.  In their first year, I made what
I consider a mistake in feeding them.  I would give them each a plate of wet
food.  The female cat had a smaller appetite, so she'd eat between 1/2 and
3/4 of her food and walk away.  I'd then allow the male cat (who would scarf
his food and wait patiently for her to finish) to eat the rest of her food.  Also
during this time, I left a big bowl of dry food available 24/7.

After a year, I decided to take them off dry food (based on research that says
it's not so good for cats).  I also decided that they'd have designated meal
times where they would eat, and then I'd pick up the food when they finished.

During this phase, I noticed the male cat would turn to watch the female cat
while he chewed his food, monitoring her progress.  Sometimes he would
stop eating his food at the midway point so he could sit and watch her eat.  
His strategy was that he could keep his food "on reserve," wait for her to
finish, then eat hers and go back to eat his reserves afterward.

Well, I felt this was making her nervous (and therefore she wouldn't finish her
food and would walk away) so I decided to feed them in separate rooms.  
She's always been a little smaller and I was concerned she wasn't eating
enough.

Now she generally finishes all of her food since she can eat in peace.  I feed
the male cat in the bathroom with the door closed.  The problem is, he stops
eating after finishing 1/2 of his meal and begins meowing at the door (so he
can watch her and keep up his old routine).  No matter what I do, I can't get
him to finish his food.  Lately I've tried picking up his plate and putting his
food away when he walks away from it, hoping that he'd understand over
time that if he abandons his plate, it's gone.  No luck.

It's exasperating!  I just want to be able to put a plate of food in front of each
cat, and they eat it!  Instead I have to spend ridiculous amounts of time trying
to cater to each cats' eating bad habits (she has a few of her own, too).  

I suppose I could leave the male cat's food out, let him investigate outside
the bathroom and discover her plate of food is gone, then he'd probably go
back and eat his.  But sometimes she'll sneak in and finish his if I do this (she
will do what he does: not finish hers then go and eat his).  If I let him out to
investigate after she's done and her food is put away, I could put him back in
the bathroom with his food, but he won't necessarily eat it.  Plus, how much
time can I possibly spend on this routine?  I feed them 3 separate times per
day (since her appetite is smaller, i don't feel it's fair to make her eat 1/2 her
daily feeding in one sitting).  To make sure they both eat the right amount
and not take each other's food takes up to an hour per feeding!  If they aliens
are looking down on my household, they could only assume the cats are in
charge!

Any suggestions you have to train these cats to eat only their own food would
be much appreciated.  i know it's tricky since they learned bad habits in their
first year.  I only hope that they can un-learn what they've learned.  

Thanks!

Answer
Additional note:
some cats will pig out at first but when they see that the food is not going anywhere they usually settle down about it. Also you may want to worm him if he is constantly eating. The worms eat what the cat eats so they don't get enough nourishment and are always hungry. But don't get over the counter wormer because worms are becoming immune to the stuff. Get it from a vet who has the latest effective products, and will give you the correct wormer for the type of worm.

Marc,

"If it's not broken, don't fix it". Personally I would go back to your original way of feeding them...including the dry food. Cats need dry food for their teeth. The dry food helps keep tartar away that wet food won't do. Plus having it available 24/7 gives them an opportunity to munch when they get hungry.

You can read horror stories about everything! Usually those stories are not based on complete fact, or someone has it in their mind that what they say is gospel.

I have always free-choice fed my cats dry cat food. I usually get a high quality brand like Iams, but I also use Friskies. I give canned food as more of a treat or a supplement to the dry. I have never had any problems, behavior or healthwise doing it that way.

Cats are like people, they eat what they want and when they want. I think you are going through too much stress and trauma getting the cats fed (smile). One cat may not need to eat as much as the other cat, or as often. Some cats also like to eat some then come back to it. They are all different. And it's the same old adage "if they are hungry they will eat". Cats also like to check out the other's food to see if it is different.

That is my thoughts on things.

Tabbi