my dogs fear of my boyfriend

Question
QUESTION: My two 1/2 year old chihuahua/jack russell cross is terrified of my boyfriend, the first year I had her I was dating someone else and she adored him... the guy I have been with now tries so hard to get my dog to accept him but she is still so scared...
he is the only one that gives treats when we are both home and he tries to play with her all the time...he doesn't talk in a loud voice and he is a really nice guy... I don't understand why she is so scared. She hides if I'm not home, she has bitten him twice when I was not home, she will lose control of her bowels or urinate, shiver or pant excessively....My boyfriend has never hurt her and it truly makes him sad that she is so scared. We have a year old shih tzu that is very rambunctious....he plays with my other dog great and he gets along with my BF wonderfully... any insight in this matter would be greatly appreciated.... I have spoke with my vet on more than one occasion and have asked about anxiety meds or other treatments....they do not feel that this is right for her and she just needs to warm up to him... We have lived together for 7 months and at times it seems to be getting better but at others it doesn't...I don't know what to do...

ANSWER: Hi, Amelia,

Without actually being there to witness the interaction between your dog and your boyfriend, it would be very hard to analyze what is going on.

Have you had the dog since she was a puppy, or is there a possibility that in a former life, she may have been abused by someone who resembles your current boyfriend?

Dogs read our body language; there may be something she's "picking up" in his mannerisms that is bothering her.

I don't mean to accuse anyone, but is he ever home alone without you?  Maybe he's spoken in a cross manner to her when you weren't around?

Tell him not to try so hard; the less he focuses on her, the less pressure he puts on her.  If she's going to make up to him, she needs to be allowed to do it in her own time.  If he ignores her, he will appear less threatening.

You also could consider having a trainer come to your home and observe firsthand what is going on and give suggestions.  If you need some names, send me your city, state and zip code.

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: Chris,

Thank You for talking the time to answer my question, to answer some of yours I got Minnie when she was five weeks old.  Yes my boyfreind is home alone with the dogs often when I work in the evenings.  Our shih tzu was out of the house for acouple of days and Minnie really warmed up to him then.  As for the last couple of days things have been quite wonderful.  She is playing ball with my boyfreind and she even went to the bathroom with him out side yesterday without me having to walk her all the way to the yard.  I did have to go out side and wait for her on the step though.  I am starting to wonder if getting our other dog has been the problem.  At first she did not like our puppy, but now they get along great.  Does this seem to make any sense???

Thank You again,
Amelia

Answer
At first she did not like our puppy, but now they get along great.  Does this seem to make any sense???
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Anytime there's a change in the environment (new pet, new baby, new home...), there's a chance your pets will need time to become used to the situation.  Dogs need time to work out a balance between them, so maybe this is what's been going on.  I still have no explanation for her coming in from outside and being fearful, but as long as things seem to be improving, maybe the worst is over.  If you suspect that the interaction between the two dogs is the reason, just keep a closer eye on them when they're together.  They have to decide between themselves who's "boss" and who's not, but it's your role to be sure they both behave themselves, not hurt each other, and defer to you and your boyfriend.